In just under 40 days, I suppose I'm obligated to move into my dorm room at USC. I'm enrolled, orientation is in a week, and I'm a part of the class of 2020. College is going to be to a whole new experience. And, on that note, my body cannot decide whether to be excited or extremely nervous and so far that has caused nothing but nausea. My entire life is about to change. Most college freshman worry about how they're going to decorate their dorm room or how not to gain the freshman 15, but here are six reasons why I'm really afraid for my freshman year in college.
1. I have to live with another person?
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For most of you, this is no big deal. For me, this is completely unheard of. I suffer from only child syndrome and the idea of sharing ANYTHING makes me uncomfortable, but especially living space. I hear all of these horror stories from my friends about their siblings taking their things and having to share a room with them and, thankfully, I can never relate. The picture above is an accurate representation of how I spend 68 percent of my time. I am usually scrolling through social media, on my phone, ALONE, in bed. I've slept in a full-sized bed since I was 3 years old. Everything I've ever had was mine and mine only. Therefore the concept of having half of something and having to share it is foreign to me.
I've never had to share a room with anyone for more than a week. But the comforting part about that was I always knew that after that week was up, I could go back to my secluded sanctuary. But college is different and I have to share for months at a time. What the heck is that?! I haven't met my roommate yet; I'm meeting her tomorrow, actually. She seems nice and I think I'm going to like her. But sharing? Not a fan.
2. What is partying?
Honestly, I never went to an actual high school party. And I hear that college parties are like that, but on steroids. So I would not at all know what is and is not normal or appropriate party behavior. The above gif is what I probably look like on a daily basis, let alone being forced into a social situation. I've alluded to the fact that I have social anxiety in a past article so going out is NOT a thing that happens for me. However, I do love music, so if the music isn't completely trash, I'd feel inclined to stay. And I've certainly never thrown a party before, not even a birthday party, so I literally have no idea what to expect! The only parties I throw are pity parties and there's usually only one guest: me. But I'd like to experience at least one party this fall. So someone please take pity on me and invite me somewhere.
3. Clothes? Shoes? Makeup?
Again, I have never shared a room with anyone and I generally keep my room somewhere between pigsty and "How does a human inhabit this?" But since it's always been just me, it was never a problem. But now I'm going to have to clean... and what if it's not clean enough for her? I have so many clothes, it's actually unreal. I believe my wardrobe is vast enough to be its own store. I've come to the realization that I can't bring all of my beloved shoes, skirts and dresses, tops and pants to college with me because there simply won't be enough room. I suppose I'll have to give them away and/or sell them. Yet, I will find it difficult to part with some of my clothes and shoes, since I am emotionally attached to some of them. Also, I can't have all my skin and beauty products covering the counter and all my bath products covering the shower because I have to share that too. How does one adjust?
4. Paying for laundry?
What is that? Why does that exist? Why is that a thing? In my house, I just walk downstairs and use the washing machine and dryer. So the fact that I may have to wait for an open one AND pay for it slightly enrages me. Okay, I lied, it fully enrages me.
5. No new friends
My biggest fear is probably that I won't make any friends. Everyone I know says, "No, you'll be fine, people will like you, you'll make friends." I think that is the most BS thing I've ever heard. Again, I have social anxiety, so talking to random strangers is not something I'll be partaking in. I don't text any of my friends on a daily basis. I barely speak to people I know and actually like. I don't actually like talking to individuals because my mind moves so quickly that I genuinely forget what I saying mid-sentence because I've thought about six other things since I started that sentence. Plus I'm an extremely odd human being. I also tend to be sarcastic and some people can't handle it or don't understand. I'm not usually terribly rude without warrant, though. Needless to say, it will be challenging for me to make friends and get people to like me.
6. To join or not join?
My biggest regret in high school was not joining more clubs. So now, I have the opportunity to be a part of over 400 organizations. I realize I'm supposed to focus on my schoolwork, which, without any friends, should be easy. I'm extremely excited and I actually want to be involved. But I'm afraid that it's going to involve me being way more vocal than I'm comfortable with. So my mind thinks, should I just not even try? But I need to be involved; it's important because how else am I supposed to change the world? Also, since I wasn't as involved as I wanted to be in high school, I figured that this was my chance to start over and start fresh.
So although I'm very nervous, I'm still super excited to go to college. Everyone has worries; if you say you don't, you're lying. Overall, I hope college is a joyous experience. Go Cocks!
