My mom was 17 and just barely into her junior year that October in ‘95 when I was born. My dad had just graduated high school that previous spring and had turned 19 that July. Despite the fact that they were teen parents (and that by all accounts I should’ve been a total curse considering I was born on Friday the 13th) my parents succeeded in raising me at a time in their lives when they were taking care of a human life, but couldn’t drink alcohol or, as for my mom, even vote.
It was ‘98, my 18-year-old mother had just graduated high school days before she gave birth to me. Although my mom may have cried when she had to tell my grandma, she embraced her accidental pregnancy and tried to be the best mom she could be for as young as she was. Almost 19 years later, I’m still the caring person she raised me to be, but at least I know not to bring her home tampons from public restrooms anymore. I’d like to say I turned out pretty well, even if she let me eat dog food.
The age at which someone has a child doesn’t dictate their ability to be a great parent and teen parents can teach their children valuable lessons. Here are 6 lessons we learned from our teen parents, presented to you by the experts (two kick ass teen-parent daughters):
1. It's possible to juggle everything in life.
Seriously, I know I’m not the only one that thought that high school, having a job, and keeping a social life was tough enough, but teen parents have that PLUS a screaming baby that constantly needs food or a diaper change. Yet, my mom graduated high school (which included gym class while she was pregnant...yikes…), got a full-time job, and was able to keep close friends that are still around nearly 19 years later.
My mom graduated high school (which included the parenting class where they made her carry around a fake baby in school even though she had a real one at home, also yikes) while my dad began working to support us. And I thought college was stressful.
2. Sacrifices may be necessary for the people/things you love.
My mom didn't even get to walk at her high school graduation. She didn't get to go to prom. There was no going away to college in her future. She had to wait until the kids were grown before she could go to college. As for my dad, he had to pick up a flooring installation job that wrecks his body every day, just to support us. They sacrificed for us and I promise you nothing can make a child feel more loved.
Although my mom had graduated from high school before I made my appearance into this world, she spent most of her senior year pregnant. She didn’t attend her senior prom, she didn’t get to pack up and leave for college. She got a job working at Taco Bell, where she worked long shift to support me.
3. You can endure society and others passing judgment onto you.
People make fun of the girl in English class who has a belly with a baby inside. Including teachers. Women have to endure critical stares, judgmental eye rolls and condescending questions about their situation when they're a teen mother. But why? These girls have obviously made the largest sacrifice, just as we said in #2. So why would we judge their bravery? When I was 17, and the same age as my mom when she had me, I was nowhere near capable of having a child. I'm 21 now and still not ready. Don't belittle their selflessness.
4. How to work hard for the things we care about most.
If there is one lesson children of parents who struggle can learn, it's that hard work is a must. If there's something you want to achieve then you better be doing everything in your power to make it happen. Whether that's working two jobs to support your family, studying until your eyelids glue themselves shut in the library to get that grade, or working hard in the gym, they taught us that there is nothing we can't achieve if we put our minds and our labor into it.
5. No obstacle is too large for us to overcome.
Being teenagers when having your first child comes with a hefty list of obstacles: you're in high school, need to make money, need to have a place to live (which may mean moving out of your parent's at 18), you have a baby that needs to eat and be changed and that takes time and money, you need a babysitter so that when you're out getting your GED or making an income your baby can be safely taken care of, and the list goes on. For adults having a baby is hard, imagine being a kid yourself.
But our parents taught us that no matter what obstacle was thrown in their way, no matter what battle they had to fight next, they would overcome it.
6. You can be best friends with your family.
Let's face it, our parents are less than 20 years older than us, which means two things: they will be significantly younger than literally all of your friend's parents and they are going to be super chill parents. They crack jokes constantly, including thinking they're HILARIOUS when they pretend to erase you with an eraser that reads "For BIG Mistakes," and they are just as open with you as you are with them. Kids can find their best friends in their young parents.
Among my friends my mom is known as the “cool mom”. As soon as I turned 18, her and her best friends told me they wanted to take me out to the club with them, what parent goes clubbing with their kids, that's right the parent that’s chill af. Even while we are out shopping together she gets hit on by guys my age more than I do, even though she's CLEARLY married and out of their league.
Teen parents shouldn't be judged and looked down upon by society. They had to do what other parents do at 30 with a home and career, as teens.
