Divorce is like cancer; we all know someone who is divorced or who is directly affected by divorce. However, when parents get divorced there are some things they don't know to tell their kids. Here's a list of things you should know that affect the kids being affected by divorce.
1. It's long.
Nothing about divorce is short. From hiring lawyers to developing settlements to the actual trial date, it's a very long and tedious process. The days in court are boring and drawn out, and you'll probably feel like this has been going on forever. It's longer for the kids than for anyone else because we were there to witness the arguments that couldn't be settled which led to all this. You'll also have to adapt your relationship with your parents after it's all settled.
2. Court is lame.
All those episodes of Law & Order: SVU did nothing but mislead you. The lawyers actually do most of the work while everyone else sits in silence, and the judge rarely is even in the courtroom. If you have to sit in court, you can't bring your phone in, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to bring something like a word puzzle (which I know sounds lame, but when you're in court for four hours with nothing to do, you'll appreciate it).
3. Your relationship with your parents might never be the same again.
A lot of the time everything stays normal, but sometimes it doesn't. You'll hear this a million times: it isn't your fault, but sometimes things have to change when your parents separate. You may be forced to grow closer to one parent or another, or you may be forced to cut off all ties with one parent. I'm not going to lie, it seems painful at the time, but you'll be stronger for it in the end. You may also discover a dark side of your parents that you had never seen before; your perception of your parents may never be the same again. It could change for the better or the worst, honestly, or absolutely nothing could change!
4. It will all work out.
So your custody hearing didn't go as expected or you didn't get the child support you need, don't be disparaged. As one door closes another opens, and so many people reach out to support you during this difficult time.
5. Your situation is different than everyone else's.
Divorces are like snowflakes; no two are the same. A unique set of factors led to each divorce, and each case is affected by different pasts.
6. It's okay to be upset.
I cried in the courtroom. I cried to my friends. I cried myself to sleep at night. This may seem like the end of the world as you know it, but it's not. One aspect of your life is changing, not the entire thing. You still have your friends and your family. The people around you still love you and want to help you. Now's the time to tell people how you feel. You have to remember that not everyone has gone through this so that you often have to bluntly state and explain your emotions to others; doing this helps others be able to relate and discuss the situation better.
