Valentine's Day is the holiday that singles everywhere dread. It's the one day in the calendar year where PDA is acceptable. Happy couples everywhere saunter on the sidewalks hand in hand, donning their favorite red, white, and pink garments. The purchasing of flowers, chocolate, stuffed animals, and cheesy Hallmark cards is at an all-time high. The air reeks of perfumes, colognes, and hormones. Every table at your favorite restaurant has been reserved by a couple for this special occasion. It's official, Valentine's Day is the worst day to be alone on. But you're wrong. You can look forward to dreading at least six more days out of the year if you're single.
1. Birthday
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Absolutely nothing is worse than being single on your birthday. There's no one to make you breakfast in bed, there's no sappy Instagram or Facebook posts to look forward to, and there's no one who will say "I'm so glad you were born today because I can't imagine my life without you." Who's going to help you eat all of that leftover cake? Absolutely no one. Have fun eating your feelings.
2. St. Patrick's Day
Also known as national "Here's an excuse to drink" day, St. Patrick's Day is a time when singles should be allowed to drink alone and feel at ease, right? Wrong. Everyone dons gigantic green buttons that read "Kiss me, I'm Irish" on this day (whether or not they are actually Irish is beyond your knowledge). The buttons serve as a constant reminder that no one would kiss you, even if you were Irish. But every year you pin one on just in case. You tell people you wore it to avoid being pinched, but inside you're actually hoping that some brave soul will plant a big kiss on you and you'll live happily ever after. Or don't wear green. Pinches count as human interaction too.
3. Mardi Gras
4. Christmas
Christmas is a time to spend with the ones you love. Unfortunately for you, this just means your family. There's no one to help you fluff the Christmas tree, hang up decorations, cozy up next to by the fireplace, or kiss under the mistletoe. And you can go ahead and forget about spontaneous snowball fights.
5. Halloween
Couples costume? Not unless you plan on doing one of those cool half and half costumes or a group costume. There's no trick to your treat. Being alone on Halloween sucks. Instead of saying "BOO!," you'll be boo-hooing and pigging out on candy.
6. New Year's Eve
Ready to ring in the new year? Of course you're not. You're alone again on New Year's Eve. There's no one for you to kiss when the ball drops. There's no "start of something new." You've managed to go another year without finding love. You think to yourself, "I better get on it before February 14th hits," and did you? Nope.
Enjoy your February 14th being single. It's just one day out of the year after all.
