My name is Carsen, and I work in a cat cafe (Pounce Cat Cafe in Charleston, South Carolina). Cat cafes are these magical places where one can sit in a room full of cats (commonly, adoptable cats), and sip on coffee and tea while enjoying a pastry. If you're like me, you can't think of a better thing in the world that exists, and I'm lucky enough to be one of the few in the US that gets to work at one of these absolutely mystical places. I feel pretty confident in saying I have one of the coolest hourly-paid jobs. I get to work with animals that I'm passionate and care about, I get to interact with cat people of all ages and welcome tourists to the town I call home with a fun, novelty experience. My job is absolutely amazing, and I meet some wonderful people, but there are a few things I hear way more than I'd like to and it takes every ounce of strength I have not to roll my eyes when I hear them start to escape someone's lips. These are 6 things I hear every day at the cat cafe, and the reactions I wish I could have. (Note: All responses are to be read in a sarcastic tone of voice)
1. "OMG! You guys should totally open a dog cafe!"
"I'm so glad you mentioned that because I've been wanting to open a dog cafe! I'm way more of a dog person anyway. Obviously." *adjusts cat ears so they're on straight*
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I mean, really? We each spend well over half of our week petting cats, talking about cats and scooping litter boxes. Do you really think we're the type of people who would open a dog cafe?
2. "Have you actually been successful?" *skeptical face*
Ouch. "Luckily for us, we aren't the only people out there who like cats! I know. Try to contain your surprise, sir."
I swear, it's like some people were raised to disregard manners. You don't walk into a bank and ask the bank teller, "Are you guys actually successful?" We have been very successful, and it is none of your rudely executed business.
3. "Do I, like, bring my cat here and drink coffee while she plays?"
"While I'm sure your 8-year-old cat who hasn't ever interacted with another cat in its entire domesticated life would do great in a room full of 20 or more stranger's cats, please, please do not bring your cat here. We'll supply the cats."
When you opened that door and stepped foot into this cafe, did you leave your ability to think things through before you ask outside? Common sense should not be this uncommon.
4. "Are the cats okay? They're acting drugged; none of them are playing."
"Oh, no! Something must be horribly wrong. Cats play all day, every day! ... Wait, I just remembered there's this crazy thing called napping that cats are pretty into. Must be that, I guess."
I mean, seriously. Do you act conscious and active while you're taking a nap? No, homie. They're not going to chase a ball around the room while they're dreaming of a bathtub filled with catnip. (Or, wait, was that my dream?)
5. *Sees me walking down the street in my Pounce Cat Cafe shirt* "Oh, you work at that cat cafe! Can I make a reservation with you really quickly?"
"Certainly, ma'am! I'm not working and I'm on my way to class but why the hell not? Nothing would make me happier than to do this for you right this moment when it's so easy for you to do it on your own."
Next time I see someone dressed in a Moe's shirt, clearly off work and walking down the sidewalk I'm going to stop him and ask him to make me a burrito because apparently, that's what we're all doing now. Extra queso, por favor.
6. "This sounds so easy to open! I'll open one in my city!"
"Go for it! It's super easy to develop a highly detailed business plan that's precise and well-designed enough to convince a local shelter to partner with you, find a landlord who will actually be willing to rent to someone who is going to be housing upwards 30 cats at a time, and design your cafe in a way so that the health department will approve a cafe that houses live, furry animals so you can get the licensing you'll need to run a cat cafe safely and legally. Shouldn't take any less than slightly over a year to get the idea off the ground. Super easy."
I genuinely want to know what makes people think opening any kind of business is 'easy', and saying that to the owners is a slap in the face to all of the hard work they've put into opening their small business. Not everyone can open a business with a concept as hard to maneuver and as delicate as a cat cafe. But sure, if you really want to put in the hard work to open one of these bad boys, go for it.
Don't let my saltiness deter you from checking out the magical world that is a cat cafe. These are just the things that I'm so over hearing every time I work or someone even mentions the place that I work while out and about. If you have the opportunity, go check out Pounce Cat Cafe in downtown Charleston. If you ask any of those questions, I promise to plaster on my best fake smile, use my best customer voice and give you the customer-friendly answer everyone that works at a cat cafe has filed under, "things I would like to never have to say to anyone again." Just know, if you do ask these questions after having read this, I'll probably be picturing a cat attacking you while I give you that customer-friendly answer.
