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6 Guys You'll Date In College (As Bras)

Because finding a good bra is as much of a struggle as finding a good man.

Elizabeth Gatten

Nov 22, 2016

Bellarmine University

Zen and Tao Acoustic Cafe

Finding a good bra can sometimes seem impossible. You want the perfect fit, but it also needs to make you feel a certain way. The print has to be just right, it has to look just right under your clothes and you need to find that sweet spot between providing the right level of support and still making your boobs look bangin’. Come to think of it, it’s about as difficult to find a bra you love as it is to find a man you love. There’s a lot of trial and error in both processes, but when you get the right one, it is all worth it.

1. Bra that no longer fits

We all have that one bra that we’ve owned for five years; the straps are stretched out and the underwire is poking you in the sternum. Basically, it does nothing for you anymore, but you just can’t give it up. Likewise, maybe there’s a guy you started dating when you were young who used to make you really happy, but these days it feels like you are together more because of the past than because you really want a future with him. If that’s the case, let that man go.

2. Sports bra

This is the man who makes you feel suffocated. He comes around and you want to say, “Give me space! I can’t even breathe!” He probably also wants you to exercise a lot and makes you feel unattractive. Go eat pizza without him!

3. Nude bra

This is the guy who’s practical for you so you should want to date him, but he’s just not very exciting. He’s probably a future actuary who loves mansplaining and khakis.

4. Leopard print bra with sparkles

Oh wow, you LOVE this guy. Or maybe it’s more lust? This guy is the exact opposite of nude bra guy; in fact, he might have been your hot rebound. You know he’s no good for you and that he doesn’t go along with anything else in your life, but he’s so cool and makes you feel hot just being around him. He’s probably an English major who reads a lot of Cormac McCarthy, plays drums in an alternative band and plans to “just see where the road takes him” after graduation.

5. Strapless bra

This is the guy you forget how much you hate until you decide you need to see him again, and then instantly remember what a pain he is. Very flaky with plans; definitely not supportive.

6. Classic black bra

This guy is the perfect balance of practical and sexy. He’s nice but still fun. You feel safe and supported, but a little adventurous when you’re together. He’s definitely the kind of guy you could take to meet the parents, but is also up for a weekend bender every now and then. AKA: do not let him go.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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