If you've been keeping up with the 2016 Olympics (Go team USA!), you know this years athlete are anything but ordinary. With Michael Phelps, Katie Ledechy, and Simone Manuel dominating swimming, Simone Biles and Aly Raisman leading the women's gymnastics team to victory, and countless other athletes breaking records and setting new heights, it's definitely been an incredible Olympics. While extremely impressive and inspiring, there's nothing like watching the games to make a person feel less than average. For this reason, I decided to make a list of skills I could dominate if they were made into Olympic events.
1. Over packing
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One bag limit? No problem. Let me just neatly fold, roll, and stuff my entire existence into that one bag until it closes only by my body weight and the grace of God himself. After a few vacations and moving for college, I think I've had plenty of training.
2. Taking things in a single trip
Whether it's the laundry, groceries, or trash, there is no way I'm making a second trip to put it in its place. Are you kidding? I don't want to be doing it in the first place, why would I put myself through doing it a second time?
3. Stacking up trash
Something that always impressed me when walking through my residence hall on the weekends was how high the trash could be piled up. It's like a version of Tetris or Jenga, where the college students always win the gold, and unfortunately the janitor loses at six o'clock Monday morning.
4. Awkward greetings
Shake hands, hug, wave, just say hello? With so many different ways to greet someone, It's pretty much guaranteed that I won't know which way to go, making it extremely awkward. Can we as the human race agree on one universal greeting that we all abide by? Thanks
5. Tripping on... nothing
While Simone Biles is twirling and flipping on a balance beam, I'm over here winning the silver medal in freestyle tripping. Tripping with absolutely no visible cause is more challenging than one would think. It takes an abnormal lack of grace, you almost have to be born with it.
6. Driving on Empty
You get in the car, you're already running late, you start driving just to realize that you have neglected your gas tank for too long and you might not have enough. But your car is a trooper and somehow you avoid enough gas wasting traffic to barely make it. Besides, that's $35 you can still hold on to for a little longer.
