With a service dog comes many adventures and hilarious stories that fill your heart with joyous memories. My lovely boy seems to bring me into the oddest scenarios, ones I surely believed I'd never experience first-hand. I hope that these six service dog stories about Boris help anyone needing a good laugh right now. All are filled with love, lessons, silliness, and valor...as any great adventurer will tell you!!! Grab your backpack and let's delve into the crazy life of the sweet and noble Boris. He knows how to conquer the world one scenario at a time!

1. Christmas Magic

One Christmas, my family and I went to The Red Lion Inn (extremely well-known and historic hotel) for a very formal lunch. All those being seated were well-dressed and looked something out of Downton Abbey meets The Shining (you can't deny that creaky floors are rather ominous!).

For some time, I feared that Boris was going to be uncooperative in the dining hall covered in white linens and plates with giant target signs on them just asking to be gobbled up by a big boy. To my relief, however, I directed him underneath and he immediately curled himself under this massive round table with four legs (which created the coolest little fort once the table cloth drooped down to hide Boris). He stayed there for the entire hour and a half meal without any of the other diners noticing as they arrived to enjoy their meal.

When the bill had been paid, my fears once again grew, afraid that he would stand up and flip the entire table over. But to my relief, Boris crawled out from under this table without any trouble, and the unsuspecting family beside us gasped in shock as this ginormous dog appearing before them. Their expressions were truly priceless. The moment reminded me of when ten clowns all fit into the clown car and when they all got out, no one could believe how they were all able to fit inside. There's no denying that Boris is a magician in training!

2. Bagpipe Calamity

When my sister graduated high school, Mr. Boris was in attendance at the ceremony. The graduating class was only 21 students, so you can imagine it was not a huge crowd, and we were luckily able to get an end-seat with plenty of room to park the service mule beside me. It was only when I sat down that I was shocked to see that all the chair legs had been tied to the one beside it in a chain so that you couldn't move any of them apart. I rolled my eyes and went back to trying to figure out how to work the camera my mother handed me.

Soon, the ceremony began and well, let me just say, I did not expect the bagpipers to come marching in. Boris hates loud noises, boy, I can see why. The entire floor was vibrating, children were crying, and even my eardrums were screaming to make it stop. To make matters worse, the musicians lined up against the wall only TEN feet away from us, right next to my dog. Boris was trembling violently and leaning up against me (since we had to stand for the entrance of the graduates).

As I said before, the chairs were tied together, so the entire row of chairs was vibrating in sequence with Boris, like an earthquake. My mother held me up as Boris kept pressing harder and harder against me. Everyone saw the row slither and shift this way and that the more upset my dog became. The men in their kilts played for a good 5 minutes straight and poor Boris was just a mess. Admittedly, I still laugh when I think about this day! People commented later about how they could feel his tremors at the other end of the row. Let's just say, I'm not sure he'll ever be a fan of bag piping!

3. Flat-Tire Nightmare

Nothing like being on the high way with a packed car and a flat tire. Now first off, you have to imagine a Honda CRV with a dog in the hatchback, my mom and me in the backseat, and my elderly great Aunt and father in the front. Once we safely pull over, we realize Boris is standing on top of where the spare tire is in the way back. My father groans, mutters something under his breath, and shuffles to the trunk like the old man from the movie "Up."

With the busy highway beside us, no one wanted to let Boris out of the car for the sake of his own safety, and so we did what any truly crazy family would do: we made it work! To access the tire, my mom folded down the backseat while I called Boris to jump into the back bench with me. Well, low and behold, Boris ends up in my lap instead, and decides to sit right on top me like an oversized baby. His nails were buried in my skin, drool covering my arms, and every ounce of his weight centered on my bony thighs.

While my mom and dad were outside changing the tire, it was now only me, my great aunt, and a 140lb Great Dane on my lap left inside that car. My aunt asked if I was okay but my words were just muffled non-sense since his shoulder was covering my mouth. It was just so hilarious, as painful as it was. Boris was being so well behaved and wagging his tail the entire time, like he knew this was an adventure. Only fifteen minutes later, we drove off down the high way.

It's those fun times that remind me why big dogs are amazing.

4. The Great Lock-Down

Oh, those school lock-downs are always interesting when you have to hide a horse from view in a tiny classroom full of students. As per usual, my entire class squashed themselves up against the wall along the door so that an invader could not know if we were in there. Luckily, there was a desk I could sit on before tugging Boris close to me.

At first, he did not understand why we were all crammed together, but I think he got the idea. It was dead silent and just plain awkward, especially after ten minutes. That's when the police officer knocked on the door to act as the invader. I thought Boris was going to bark or freak out, but he just stood there, ears perked. I was so proud of him!

The man unlocked the door and he just about had a heart attack when he saw my dog. He laughed and said "Wow...you hid him so well out of view. What a surprise that invader would have had! Is he for a school project?" My classmates chuckled in a chorus, and I limped over to my seat with my horse-sized service dog and an incredulous smile...oh how silly people can be!

5. Senior Prank Catastrophe

Throughout my high school career, Boris was simply amazing, helping me up the steps of the school, ignoring the stupidity of my classmates, and giving me the confidence to walk through the hallways! But you can't always ignore mass stupidity when you go to a public high school where seniors decide that their 'prank' will consist of dressing up in monkey and banana costumes and running through the school like wild animals.

Unsuspectingly, I got Boris dressed and ready to leave since it was the end of the school day. Just as I was about to step out of the door, three students in their obnoxious costumes ran past us and proceed to climb on the desks and scream wildly. To be blunt, I nearly wet my pants. And while I am having a panic attack from the initial shock, Boris is freaking out to the point that he clenches his toes until he is standing on just his nails. I try to take the opportunity to exit the room, but Boris is unable to walk on his nails and he falls down like he's on an icerink. He scrapes his claws against the tile as he collapses, almost bringing me with him. It was so scary and the screaming in the background didn't help.

I remained calm and got us out of there with his tail tightly tucked between his legs. He slipped again a few feet out of the door, but I cheered him on and told him what a good boy he was. Moments later, I saw the principal of the school standing there in the hallway as if nothing was wrong. I wanted to scream at him for his lack of consideration for not letting me know ahead of time or allowing me to leave 10 minutes earlier to avoid it. If Boris had attacked one of these students out of defense, I could have done nothing to stop him. He didn't understand that these students in costumes meant no harm, so of course I was angry. It is truly incredible how insensitive people can be, especially since it is physically painful to try to restrain a dog almost double my size and reassure him all at the same time.

But, hey, it made for a great story!

6. The Mall Is My Bathroom

My mother brought me to the mall with Boris to go swimsuit shopping. We purposely parked on the other side of the mall so that we could stop at Target (at one end) and Macy's (at the other) to give Boris some exercise. I took my wheelchair that day and had my dog pull. Now, normally he goes to the bathroom at home before we go anywhere, but he didn't seem interested. Looking back, I wish I had insisted that he take care of his bowels at home!

When it was time to trek across the length of the mall, my mother encouraged me to have Boris run so that once we got home he would be tired out and take a nap. She let me go ahead and said she's meet me at the other end. I began to trot with him and people were staring, impressed and speechless at the majestic black beast and his chariot zipping past them. I was smiling and cheering Boris on! Once I reached Macy's, I waited for my mother to catch up.

Then I notice how troubled she looks when she comes into view. "Your dog pooped back near the electronics store. We have to hurry. I told them I would clean it up as soon as I found you to get some poop bags sinceI don't have any in my purse!" We realize right then that Boris was running so fast that the poop just fell out of him...literally!

I was so shocked and horrified since I had to make the journey back through the mall, passing the same people who saw me just moments earlier. It was the walk of shame for sure! I could smell his feces almost 100 yards away and a crowd had formed with janitors and everything. I was mortified. To my surprise, however, the staff was in love with Boris and didn't even care. They just kept saying how amazing and handsome he is. Eventually, everything is resolved and we return to our shopping, but the story is far from over!

While shopping, I realize Boris panting, acting antsy, and nervous. My eyes grow wide. OH NO. "Mom, he's gotta go again." We book it toward the nearest exit which of course seems like a million miles away. My mother and I race for the door in site. Boris is holding his bowels in with so much determination but begins to curl his butt under as if to poop. I reach the doors first (the advantages of wheels, I suppose) but the release latch is 2 feet above my head (what an awful door design) and I'm screaming to my mother about the door being locked. Boris is about to explode. She slams that door open once she hits the release latch. I let go of Boris and he throws himself onto the nearest grass patch and empties himself of his diarrhea. Neither had ever been so relieved!!!

We are never leaving the house again unless we are sure that his tank is empty, dormant, and has the safety lock on!!!