For many young adults, nothing’s more exhilarating than freshman move-in weekend at college. Your parents help you move into your first shoebox of a dorm, you cry, and then—the moment you’ve waited for all 18 years of your life—they leave. Now what? You’re on your own, your mind humming with the myths and stereotypes about you’ve heard college your entire life. How do you sort out the garbage? Can you really not pass out with your shoes on? Are you lame if you don’t rush? Can you really just pick two out of the sacred three (sleep, social life, grades)?
If you’ve survived even one year of college, you can probably relate. And if you’re a freshman, well, I hope this helps you.
Myth: Get all your gen-eds out of the way as soon as possible.
The truth is: Gen-eds are the bane of our existence. The Dean says it makes you well-rounded, but all you can think about is when the hell you’ll ever need geology under your belt as a political science major. The truth is that gen-eds may introduce you to a subject that you never even knew existed, and you might just love it. The problem with taking allof your gen-eds at the beginning of your college career is that you might not discover how you truly feel about your major until you’ve actually taken classes it. Besides, you don’t want to be the senior taking 18 credit hours of core classes while the rest of your peers are enjoying their last semester at the bar.
Myth: Don’t party your freshman year, because you’ll definitely flunk out.
The truth is: While you may be less inclined to go to class if you spent the previous night playing Edward Fortyhands, it’s completely possible to have a healthy social life and make the Dean’s List at the end of the semester. Partying doesn’t have to be synonymous with getting black out drunk and waking up in the bushes beside Admissions. Everything in moderation. For freshmen who were extremely sheltered before college, I’m talking to you. If you grew up with a curfew, hourly check-ins, or just a plain old fashioned over-protective parent, college might seem like an all-you-can-eat buffet of bad decisions. Remember that you’ll be here for four years, so every weekend doesn’t have to be the biggest and baddest of them all. And despite whatever you think at the time, upperclassmen are not impressed with how much you can drink. At the end of the night, they’re probably going to laugh about how silly you looked getting trashed for the first time instead of marveling over your “legendary” two second keg-stand you thought for sure would blow their minds. Be authentic—that’s how you make a name for yourself on campus.
Myth: If you play college sports, don’t even bother getting involved. You won’t have the time.
The truth is: Being a varsity athlete in college is time-consuming, but that doesn’t mean it has to devour your entire life. Even if you join only one campus organization, you might find a fresh group of friends that you probably wouldn’t have met otherwise. Just like high school, it’s common to fall in with a clique. You get comfortable in your group of friends and forget to branch out like they told you to in your orientation classes. This is especially true for college athletes who spend a majority of their time practicing and hanging out together. You never know what groups might help you with your future career, so don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and into a new opportunity.
Myth: You won’t make any friends unless you rush.
The truth is: Greek life has a huge presence on my campus, so when I was a freshman I felt sort of pressured to rush. So many great girls were rushing or were already in a sorority, so shouldn’t I, too? While Greek life is a fantastic opportunity to meet new people, get connected, and to give back, it’s just not for everyone. And guess what? That’s OK! If you feel like you need to rush—because someone said it’ll help your career, because you want to be popular, because your dad told you to—but your heart isn’t 100 percent in it, don’t be afraid to say no and to explore other involvement opportunities. If you still want to rush your sophomore year, guess what? You can! College is the perfect place to discover new interests. Don’t force yourself into something because you’ve been told you need to. Make that your motto, because you’re an adult now and you call the shots.
Myth: All Greeks are stupid and shallow.
The truth is: Remember when I said Greek life isn’t for everyone? It’s also not cool to vilify your peers who choose to rush simply because they’re rushing. Being in a sorority doesn’t sap your IQ points, and being a frat boy doesn’t make you a mindless Vineyard-wearing tool. I had my preconceived notions about Greek life as a freshman, and was amazed to have those misconceptions shattered by the exceptional Greek students I’ve met in college. I have friends who manage to balance pharmacy classes (not easy!), Greek life, and a part-time job while maintaining a permanent spot on the Dean’s List—not your average “dumb” brother, huh? I didn’t rush, but that doesn’t give me (or any non-affiliated student) the right to stereotype an entire group of people based on what we’ve seen in the movies and media. Do I know a few dippy sorority girls and some douchey frat-guys? Absolutely. But they don’t speak for the entire community.
Myth: If you go to college in a relationship, you’ll be single by spring.
The truth: I won’t lie and say that college isn’t an obstacle for young relationships, because you’re here for the truth, right? I went to college with a long-term boyfriend, believing that nothing—not even college—could drive a wedge between our relationship. Now that I’m a senior and I’m able to reflect on my past relationship, I know that the issue was (and wasn’t) caused by going to college. College was part of the issue because leaving home made me realize just how little I actually knew about myself. You might be wondering how someone could live with herself for 18 years and make this claim, but it’s true. Who I thought I was in high school is not who I am now as an adult, and that’s okay.This is why I say college wasn’t the issue; eventually, I would have discovered who I really am, with or without college in the equation. While it might appear that college freshman have let school change them and their relationship, we shouldn’t blame college for necessary self-discovery. If you were back in your hometown flipping patties with your high school peers, you probably wouldn’t change much at all, right? We shouldn’t criticize kids who end their relationship in college, because they might just be discovering who they really are. That being said: I have seen dozens of high-school relationships weather the storm of college only to come out stronger than before. College is not the determining factor in the success of most long-term relationships, so don’t get hung up on this old rumor. This is only the second decade of our (hopefully) long lives. Don’t pressure yourself to find the one, focus your energy instead on becoming the one. To borrow a quote from the ever-fabulous queen of drag, RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”
