After a long winter break where I hibernated with Netflix and candy, it's time to head back to school. Preparing for the new semester brought me quite the mix of emotions: sadness, excitement, self-pity, loathing, joy, uncertainty and a wave of new hope. So, as I embarked on my first day of class of the new semester, I prepared to take notes on both lectures and the crazy thoughts that ran through my head. Here's a look into my wild, enthusiastic, easily distracted mind. Enjoy.
1. Have to look good for my first day of class. Time to get ready.
2. What to wear, what to wear…
*10 minutes later*
3. I have nothing to wear!
4. This will look great!
5. I look stupid.
6. I’m going to be late to class, I guess this is how it’s going to be.
*Arrives at class*
7. All right, let’s see if I know a single person in here.
8. Nope.
9. Pick the seat in the middle, not too close, not too far. Shows what level I care about this class.
10. Every seat is filled except for the two on either side of me.
11. Why is nobody sitting next to me?
12. Do I smell?
13. I can’t really do the sniff test to see if I put on deodorant.
14. Did I forget to put on deodorant?!
15. Oh, thank God, one more person just walked in and they have to sit next to me.
16. Hey look, it’s that cute boy that I’ve been eyeing since freshman year!
17. Score!
*Said cute boy sits down next to me and flashes me a pearly white smile*
18. We would look so cute as a couple.
19. No no no no no. No! Focus.
*Teacher starts giving her life story*
20. All I’ve learned in the first 40 minutes of class is that you went to college and learned a bunch about things I don’t understand. Cool. Moving on.
21. Actually, this professor is kind of funny.
22. At least I know I will have one cool class.
23. Wait, now I have to talk to the cute boy next to me and introduce myself?
24. This is both torture and a great opportunity to dazzle him with my winning personality.
25. Time to tell him about my interests.
26. Don’t screw it up. Don’t screw it up.
27. I just told him I love to hustle.
28. I screwed it up.
29. Where did that even come from?
30. He still seems friendly towards me.
31. Hopefully, he will sit next to me next class.
(He did not.)
32. All right, time for next class.
33. Just relax.
34. I know so many people in here! Thank God!
35. This teacher is really monotone.
36. His jokes are funny, but I’m still struggling to keep my attention on what he’s talking about.
37. OK, last class of the day—power through.
38. This lecture goes until 8:10?
39. Why did I choose this torture?
40. Initial impression: sweet old man with a cardigan and crooked teeth.
41. A quiz on the first day on material that we haven’t read. You’re joking, right?
42. We didn’t even have access to the syllabus until three hours ago to see what book we need.
43. How am I supposed to know if China is building a new canal system?
44. Tell me my grade is not actually being affected by the fact that I don’t know where my university ranks in the top 20 colleges for Operations and Supply Chain programs.
45. Apparently it is.
46. All right, just listen to lecture and take notes.
47. What exactly do you mean by “we even hired some women?”
48. No, please tell me why girls are an afterthought to have in management positions.
49. Time to show this professor what I’m capable of.
50. Beyoncè would not put up with this.
51. That’s right, I will strut out of this class because I'm confident as hell.
52. I have never been so excited to collapse on my bed.
53. OK, time for Netflix and chocolate. I deserve it.
54. Welcome to Spring 2016.
55. And...I’m falling asleep.
