I love my country and that's why I refuse to vote for someone who, while technically speaking may be more qualified to hold the position of president, has the background that Hillary Clinton holds. In fact, here are 51 things I would much rather do than vote for someone like her.
51. Pull three consecutive all-nighters.
50. Have a tooth pulled.
49. Retake the SAT.
48. Always find a wet spot on the floor when I'm walking around in my socks.
47. Always be the one to step on a stray Lego.
46. Accidentally put dish detergent on my toothbrush.
45. Mistake salt for sugar and put it in my coffee.
44. Drink orange juice right after brushing my teeth.
43. Talk about how college is going with a relative I'd rather not speak to.
42. Always have one desk leg shorter than the others.
41. Be slapped in the face with a fish.
40. Volunteer for the Hunger Games.
39. Spend hours actually searching for needle in a haystack.
38. Go through puberty again.
37. Have peanut butter constantly stuck to the roof of my mouth.
36. Walk barefoot on broken glass.
35. Trust Tiger Woods to be faithful.
34. Go on a 72 hour road trip with 10 people all crammed in a Volkswagen Beetle.
33. Get stung by a jellyfish.
32. Pour lemon juice over a paper-cut.
31. Give a hug to the person with the world's most overactive sweat glands.
30. Have to untangle earphones.
29. Be kicked in the stomach by a kangaroo.
28. Sit through a lecture on how popsicle sticks are made.
27. Drink unsweetened tea.
26. Have a dog mistake me for a fire hydrant.
25. Drink chunky milk.
24. Sit through a Teletubbies marathon.
23. Never eat macaroni and cheese or mozzarella sticks again.
22. Have my makeup done by a two-year-old.
21. Re-watch the Panthers 2016 Super Bowl loss to the Broncos.
20. Listen to Rebecca Black's "Friday" on repeat for a week.
19. Write a 40-page essay about the importance of aglets.
18. Have my debit card information stolen.
17. Eat a soggy taco.
16. Read the dictionary.
15. Have gum permanently stuck to the bottom of my favorite shoes.
14. Never eat Chick-Fil-A again.
13. Relive my last relationship.
12. Never watch Friends again.
11. Get into a fist fight with Stone Cold Steve Austin.
10. Only be able to speak in bad movie quotes and song lyrics.
9. Get a tattoo on my face.
8. Actually be stuck between a rock and a hard place.
7. Lick a cactus.
6. Be mistaken for the theater thug.
5. Open the Chamber of Secrets.
4. Chug a bottle of hot sauce.
3. Have a massive breakdown that is as public and unforgettable as 2007 Britney.
(Sorry, girl, I love you.)
