1. Hey do you believe in love at first sight or are you a coldhearted bitch?
2. Are you from Tennessee because you are a solid 16 out of 50.
(this is funny because Tennessee was the 16th state to join the Union)
3. If I could rearrange the alphabet I probably wouldn’t.
People wouldn’t adopt it for the same reason we haven’t changed to the Metric System. I already did it though ABDEGPTVZHIYJKLFMNOSXRUWQ. I got rid of “C” because it’s useless.
4. I hope you know CPR, because if I have to die, I want it to be in your lovely arms.
5. Hey... ever seen a dead possum?
6. If you were a tear drop,
I would never cry for fear of losing you. Except that I never cry; also, I have no fears.
7. Are you a Libra?
Because you’re really tipping the scales in your favor, but it’s still anyone’s game so look alive.
8. Is there an airport nearby or are you just making a lot of unnecessary noise?
9. Is that a cellphone in your back pocket?
Yes. It is. In precisely 3 minutes you will receive a phone call. You will receive instructions. It is imperative that you follow these instructions to the letter...
10. Are you a parking ticket?
Because, wow, you should not be this expensive.
11. Come here often?
I need to gauge how dependent you are on alcohol on a daily basis.
12. You know, they say over half of all sloths are killed because they try to poop on the forest floor instead of letting it fall from the trees.
13. You’re like a dictionary.
You add meaning to my life, but I’m not gonna put forth the effort to figure you out.
14. Is it hot in here or is it just my pants?
No seriously, I think I may have a condition.
15. Do you like raisins?
How do you feel about a date? How about prunes? What do you think about the marketing failures of converting “prunes” to “dried plums” in the public consciousness? What do you think that says about society?
16. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something.
My expectations.
17. Want to see a picture of the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen?
(stand next to them, hold up the mirror so they can see your face)
18. Can I follow you home?
“What?”
Well, my parents always told me to follow my dreams and it’s not like you have control over that anyway.
19. Roses are red, violets are blue, I wanted a model, but I’ll settle for you.
20. You must be a star because you’re really distant, did I come on too strong?
21. So like, what’s your favorite Eminem song?
22. If there wasn’t any gravity on earth, you would fall for me.
I have greater mass and thus would attract you into my pull.
23. Are you one of the major contributing factors to lung cancer in the US because you’re smokin’!
24. You know what would look great on you? Literally anything else.
25. No wonder the mud is gray today; all the brown is in your eyes.
26. Your eyes are like a sunset:
beautiful, awe-inspiring, and while I’d love to look at them tonight, I hope I don’t see them tomorrow morning.
27. Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
Because I can see myself in your pants. Oh, maybe like some sort of reflective surface? What kind of screen cover is on your phone?
28. Kissing burns five calories a minute and you look like you could use a workout.
29. Hello, I’m new in town.
Can you give me directions to your place? Or just like the nearest strip club, I'm not picky.
30. I hear you’re good at math.
Will you replace my eX without asking Y? Now integrate with respect to x. We can definitely go back to my place if you do this well on the writing portion.
31. I’d give you a solid 6.3, but I’m feeling generous today.
32. Damn girl, are you Internet Explorer?
Because I could settle for you if nothing else is available.
33. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Like the mighty Lucifer: one day may all bow before him.
34. Your legs must be tired from supporting the weight of the horrendous decision to wear those shoes.
35. Will you be the Harley to my Joker?
36. Aside from being sexy, do you have any qualities that say “marriage material”?
37. Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?
Do you have any restraining orders currently against you? Have you ever been detained for stalking?
38. Are you the terms and conditions?
Because I’ll gloss over anything you have to say if at the end you’ll accept me.
39. If I had a nickel for every time I saw a woman as beautiful as you,
I’d have 55 cents. Which, considering how many women I’ve seen in my lifetime, is a good number I’d say.
40. Will you come home with me? I’m so lonely.
41. Know what’s on the menu? Me and You.
No, wait, dammit, I messed up.
42. I'm just looking for a girl who wants a nice guy, like me and not all these assholes.
43. If I told you the word of the day was legs, would you come to my place and share it with all my friends?
44. Life without you is like a broken pencil… easily replaceable.
45. Are you my Discover Weekly playlist?
Because when we started this I was feeling good but now I’m reconsidering my decisions.
46. According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.
47. I must be the DOW because, honestly, I’ve fallen for less.
48. I miss the good old days when REAL men would just kidnap a village woman in conquest and she would become his wife.
49. So what are your opinions on the election?
50. Is your name Homework?
Because I’m not doing you and I would rather put it off, but since we’re here we might as well.
51.Is your dad an art thief?
Because you look like a masterpiece but you’re probably fake.
