Before you start judging, I am not writing this because I can’t find a boyfriend. I’m young, I have self-confidence and, yes, I have been going on dates. This isn’t being written because after those dates “he” doesn’t call, or “he” doesn’t want anything serious because 10 times out of ten I am the one who doesn’t want anything serious. This is about why I am choosing to be single.

I am in no way bagging on relationships because I have had my own great ones. I’ve also had my bad ones. I also know that, right now, I am most content not being in a relationship. I was once told that I wasn’t mature enough for a relationship, and that’s when I realized the truth. I’m 19-years-old. I have my whole life to spend with my soul mate, and thanks to advanced medical technology I’m looking at a solid 80 more years of happy living. Having a boyfriend, or significant other, is a lot of work. It takes time, money and, frankly, is all about sacrifices.

When you are in an exclusive relationship you are no longer making decisions and thinking for yourself; you will always be thinking for the both of you. That’s not a bad thing, that is just what a relationship is about. If you don’t make time for them or show affection they will start to think you don’t want to be with them. It takes a lot to keep another human being happy because we are all our own person and we all want different things.

By choosing to be single, I get to do anything and everything that makes myself happy. I get to go where I want, when I want, with who I want. I realize this may come off as selfish, but I promise you it’s not. I trust that God, or whatever superior power, will bring me to the right person at the right time, so until then I’m going to take advantage of this overload of “me” time while I still have it.

If I was in a relationship I couldn’t take off on a trip across the world or just to another state without having to think how it may affect my boyfriend. I couldn’t accept an internship in a place that wasn’t within driving distance. Having a boyfriend would mean I’d have to be my careful, responsible self when I go out. It would mean I couldn’t afford to make a mistake and accidentally kiss that extremely attractive guy because I would break my own heart if I ever cheated. I couldn’t ditch out on a date or hanging out sometimes to finish homework, or secretly continue watching Netflix, without being questioned. When you’re in a relationship you have to grow up a little bit and realize that all of your actions can leave an effect on the person you’re dating.

All of these experiences are what helps us grow and shape us into who we are in the future. They are moments that I don’t think I’ve had enough of and I want to continue to make. When I have a boyfriend I want to be that person to give them my full attention and affection. However, right now I know that I can’t be that person for anyone so I choose to stay single so I don’t wind up hurting anyone else.

When you’re in a relationship you have to grow up a little bit and realize that all of your actions can leave an effect on the person you’re dating. I have too many places to go and things to do before I even think about settling down and being exclusive with someone. Right now my main priority is making me, myself and I the happiest I could possibly be, and that is why I choose to be single.