RBF, or Resting Bitch Face, is apparently what we call it when someone’s, namely a woman’s, face makes her look like a bitch without her intending to. And not “bitch” in the “YAS, boss lady, go!” way, more in the mean girl way. It’s a common phrase that’s really wormed its way into our vocabulary and mentality. And here’s the thing: I am done with it. I don’t think it’s real. I don’t think it’s nice. I don’t think it’s constructive. And I certainly don’t think it’s necessary.

Almost every girl I have ever spoken to is positive she has RBF, which in itself, should be proof this isn’t a real thing. If everyone’s face looks like this, maybe this is just how faces look! If someone looks at your expressionless face and thinks you’re ready to jump them, it’s not you with the problem. It’s how your face looks. It’s how everyone’s face looks. There’s nothing wrong with your face. The absence of a smile on your person is not an automatic implication that something is wrong or that you’re awful. If you have to walk around every second with a smile in order to prove you’re a good person, we have bigger problems.

At any given second, the expression on your face or my face or frankly, anyone’s face, is not telling of the hundreds of qualities and traits that make up personality. And I get that RBF is saying someone looks like a bitch, not that they are one. But honestly, we’re tiptoeing on thin ice here. So why “bitch?” If a resting face does look upset (which I am rejecting but work with me), why is it that looking unhappy is synonymous with looking like a bitch? Men get to be angry, and women have to be bitches, but it’s not even like RBF is a term given to women from the men in our lives. Women gave it to women, and we have to stop.

Next time you feel like throwing out a “Resting Bitch Face” about a girl, call it something else or better yet, don’t comment on her face at all. When someone says, “Was she mad at me?” stop your “No, her face just looks like that,” after “No.” Because we’re not gonna do this to each other anymore.

I’m trying really hard in life to pick my battles, to not be angry about everything there is to possibly be angry about, and you may think being upset over this is not compliant with my mantra, but to me, it feels like RBF is just a way we made up to criticize each other and ourselves when we ran out of other insults or comments about women. That’s what I’m tired of.

So feel free to let your face rest. Let the girl next to you. Let yourself and whoever else look how you naturally look without shame because at the end of the day, no matter what they say about you.