When children are little, many times they have imaginary friends. When they grow up those imaginary friends become real life Pretend Friends. But the scary part about them is that they are alive and breathing, and sometimes you can’t grow out of them.
I was never your best friend. It always seemed like I was inviting you to places more than you invited me out. You were my best friend. But I don't think I was ever yours. For a long time this really hurt, then I just got used to it. And I’m discovering getting used to the abuse is way worse.
There was always someone better. No matter what I did for you I was never good enough. There was always someone ahead of me that you would rather choose. Therefore, I was always the one left out. When there was three of us together, suddenly I became the elephant in the room.
I was your last option. If there was no one else to hang out with, we were together. I don't know why I could never live up to your idea of the perfect best friend. But just know I tried hard everyday to show you I wanted to be. Then I began to notice the effort should be returned, but it never was.
You made me who I am today. You made me a stronger person. You helped me to discover that sometimes people aren’t going to want to be your friend, and that is okay. Sometimes you don’t have to please everyone. But you also helped me to learn to let them go. Pretend friends will never change, there is no need to put yourself through the hurt.
You helped me find my best friends. You helped me find the path to my best friends. If it wasn’t for you I would have never known how I was supposed to be treated. You showed me what was right and wrong in a friendship. And some people are never lucky enough to know that.
Thank you. Thank you so much for the memories we have. No matter how long you were in my life, you still left footprints on my soul. We have so many happy times and so many laughs that I will never forget. But it does not outweigh the pain.
Thank you the most for breaking my heart. Friendships are sometimes meant to end. And once I was strong enough to realize that and allow you to break my heart, I began to heal and move on. You allowed me to realize I am worth being put first on someone’s list.
You roped me into your trap very easily. But I should have known you wouldn't stay. Everything was too pretty at the beginning. But yet I still didn’t want to believe you’d just abandon me. But now I know it’s okay.
So goodbye my Pretend Friend.
I hope you find your way.
