“You’re 13. You don’t need a Facebook.”
I feel like a hypocrite as I mumble this for the thousandth time to my baby brother. His arguments sound a lot like mine did at that age (except it was all about Myspace back then).
Our little people are coming into a society so different than our previous generations have ever faced, and honestly it terrifies me. It terrifies me for the well-being of my little brother and so many like him. I fear for his innocence, his sense of reality, his ability to think critically, how he views people in the real world and most importantly, how he views himself.
Already, without the venues of Facebook or Instagram, he is constantly drawn into a world inhabited by virtual Minecraft friends and music videos by celebrities that merely offer a fogged view of an already skewed reality.
I watch his friends, at such a young age, fall into a pit of depression, self-doubt and hatred as they’ve faced cyber-bullying or even just the comparison game that we all inevitably deal with. At 13-years-old, my friends didn’t have access to every facet of my life at all hours of the day. If they hung out without me, my world wasn’t shaken—odds are I didn’t even know. I had time to sit and just think; to think about things that happened to me, my day, who I was…to think about anything and everything. Now, they are trying to navigate their hardest developmental years through an unending feed of things that say (or are interpreted as) “you’re not enough."
Here are some ways to help this generation navigate their new and growing world:
1. Get them outside.
Have you seen some of the amazing wonders that are nestled in your own backyard? Beaches, mountains… give them adventures and make memories while making a point to leave the phones in the car.
2. Manners over matter.
Simple rules that will help them realize there is a place and time for virtual contact, and it’s not during meal time or real-life conversations.
3. Call it like you see it.
Our young people are finding and creating themselves, but they each have specific and beautiful gifts. When you see something in them, don’t let it go unnoticed, call it out. It’s possible that they don’t even realize their heart reacts to things a certain way because they are deeply loving and generous or that their creativity is unique to them. Help them own their gifts and expand them.
4. Ask the questions.
There are two sides to this. Ask questions about their friends, know what’s going on in their lives. Also, make a point to ask questions that they may not be able to answer. Give them time to think, to develop ideas. Not only will they (hopefully) learn to step back and take time to think, but you will teach them to question things on a deep level.
5. Sprinkle truth like confetti.
You can never overuse “I love you” or “I’m proud of you." We all need a little reminder sometimes, we all seek validation. The more secure they feel of their worth and in their place in your life and in the world, the harder it is for society to make them question it.
