Here is a list of things to do instead of the things that you should be doing:
1. Read this list.
2. Take a nap.
3. Eat.
4. Check Pinterest. (If you're really procrastinating, you'll find a recipe on Pinterest and make that.)
5. Check Facebook.
6. Tag everyone you know in every meme you can find.
8. Check Instagram.
9. Post on your finsta about procrastinating. (If necessary, create a finsta to then post on it.)
10. Snap everyone you know to tell them about your procrastination.
11. Use all your swipes on Tinder. (Or create a Tinder to do so.)
12. Scroll through your entire Twitter feed.
13. Figure out what Foursquare is and use it.
14. Get back into Candy Crush.
15. Go through all of your photos, relieving your bad life choices through screenshots.
16. Delete all those photos that filled you with regret, leaving a few for future procrastination.
17. Go through your email, and delete the 1,000+ emails that came from somewhere you aren't sure.
18. Clean your room.
19. Do your laundry.
20. Wash the dishes.
21. Clean out the contents of your fridge. (That milk has been sitting in there two weeks longer than it should have.)
22. FaceTime at least three people at least three times each.
23. Do your homework. (Or, if it's your homework you're procrastinating, consider doing your homework, but then don't.)
24. Go through Buzzfeed, starting with the trending, then the quizzes, then the videos, and then the most recent.
25. Check out what's new on YouTube.
26. Rewatch all of the Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and every other mainstream artist music videos. (Make sure you don't miss Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj.)
27. Check out the Carpool Karaoke videos, along with Laugh Factory stand ups.
28. Log into your bank account.
29. Figure out your finances and create a budget.
30. Cry because you have no budget because you have no money.
31. Call your parents under the guise of missing them but really in the search of money.
32. Consider getting a job, but procrastinate that too.
33. Find a list of internships to apply to but put off applying for them.
34. Update your calendar even though you never actually check your calendar.
35. If you didn't actually do your homework earlier, figure out what that homework is so that you can be vaguely stress about it but never do it.
36. Netflix but with no chill (because you're stressed from procrastinating things that need to get done probably soon).
37. Dedicate yourself to bingeing Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Pirate of the Caribbean.
38. Shop online for things you don't need and justify spending $50 (of money, that again, you don't have) for the free shipping.
39. Write the next great American novel.
40. Get deep into Amazon and find the oddest thing you can find on Prime, possibly even order that thing.
41. Return to all social media outlets to see if anything has changed. (It probably hasn't.)
42. Find some groupons that you'll never purchase, but you might, so check anyway.
43. If Netflix didn't suit you and you have Amazon Prime, check out the Amazon Prime video section. It's actually pretty good.
44. Look up your horoscope.
45. Look up the horoscope of your crush and make sure that you're compatible.
46. Obsessively stalk that crush and all past crushes, along with all past and current crushes' significant others to be salty about.
47. Go to the gym.
48. Start up yoga. (Decide to never do yoga again.)
49. Plan a vacation that you'll never taken. Make sure to check out flights to make sure it's within your budget. (Again, you have no budget.)
50. Finally, write a list of 50 things to do instead of the things you should be doing as a form of procrastination of the things you should be doing—the ultimate form of procrastination.
Repeat all of the above until you eventually never actually complete what you were supposed to do or until the stress of it swallows you whole and you do what needs to get done. Now that's what I call procrast-inception.
