Back to school is right around the corner, that is if you haven’t already started, and, quite honestly, thinking about it makes me want to vomit. School to me is a combination of prison and hell mixed together to create an ultimate force that causes me to have constant panic and anxiety attacks and long nights that end with me crying and listening to Adele. It’s not so much the learning factor, it’s the people. Being surrounded by homphobic biggots, conservative douche bags and "white lives matter" kind of people is what does it for me. Yeah, no. Not my type of people. I still have five years left of school and that makes me want to vomit even more. I could probably give you a million things I would rather do than go back to school but you know, I have to get a college degree so I can be in debt for a few years and live on a ramen noodle budget. Champagne taste with a ramen noodle budget? I think yes. Enough being said, here are 50 things that I would rather do than go back to school.
1. Vote for Donald Trump.
2. Live with 200 cats even though I'm highly allergic.
3. Become allergic to avocados.
4. Run four miles a day or run in general.
5. Only consume dairy even though I am lactose intolerant.
6. Drown in a bathtub filled with 100 bath bombs.
7. Listen to only country all year long.
8. Read the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" series.
9. Be a minion.
10. Produce ASMR videos.
11. Join Musical.ly
12. Die of heat exhaustion.
13. Move to Kansas.
14. Give up my love for Twenty One Pilots.
15. Vomit.
16. Clean up vomit.
17. Get rid of my dogs.
18. Go to a Donald Trump Rally.
19. Listen to 1940's hits on repeat.
20. Write a song with Jacob Sartorius.
21. Let Miranda Sings do my makeup.
22. Raise Goats.
23. Become Vegan.
24. Become Vine Famous.
25. Star in a MattyB Raps video.
26. Get yelled at by Abby Lee Miller.
27. Become a Lego constructor.
28. Live in Arizona without sunscreen.
29. Watch the bee population die without doing anything about it.
30. Give up my love for Disney.
31. Join an emo rock band.
32. Be a weeaboo.
33. Buy an Android with a low quality camera.
34. Drown in a 50 gallon tub of mayonnaise.
35. Develop a love for mayonnaise.
36. Use fart spray as cologne.
37. Develop an allergy to Lush products.
38. Have my phone be at a constant 20 percent.
39. Start the month off with 1.99/2 GB of data used.
40. Only have one bar of wifi.
41. Poop my pants.
42. Wear a damp pair of jeans.
43. Use lotion instead of shampoo.
44. Take a ride to Flavor Town with Guy Fieri.
45. Get Rick Rolled.
46. Buy a pair of New Balances.
47. Solve a Rubix's Cube.
48. Allow my dog to continuously lick my face.
49. Step in poop.
50. Cry.
