It seems that some people still aren’t sure exactly what it means to be a feminist. For some reason, some people have decided that certain actions warrant a down-grade in a woman’s feminist title. Reporters seem to especially enjoy looking for reasons to de-bunk certain celebrities’ claims of being a feminist. They do this for many reasons, including but not limited to the fact that they a) want to make their fans question their own feminist values and beliefs, b) want to make these women look like liars, giving all proclaimed feminists a bad reputation, or c) want to further set in the strange idea that feminism isn’t a real thing, and it’s only a name that man-hating women use to shout and get attention while not actually upholding real values.
And it isn’t just the media that is doing this. Some people, even those that claim they are feminists, like tell all sorts of female-identifying people that they somehow just aren’t doing it correctly.
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Let’s make some things clear. Feminism can be expressed and fought for in many different ways. Now, while there are many things one can do that go against feminism and what it means, women get called out so much more frequently for soooo many things that are completely irrelevant to the concept of feminism.
Here are 50 things that DO NOT make you less of a feminist.
1. Growing your hair long
2. Cutting your hair short
3. Wearing makeup
4. Not wearing makeup
5. Caring about your appearance
6. Not caring about your appearance
7. Being high-maintenance
8. Being low-maintenance
9. Going to the gym regularly
10. Wanting to change the size/shape of your body
11. Disliking parts of your physical appearance
12. Feeling insecure sometimes
13. Shaving
14. Letting your body hair do what it wants
15. Liking facemasks, peels, or other beauty treatments
16. Being in love with a male identifying person
15. Being friends with and enjoying the company of straight, cisgender men
16. Enjoying having a man flirt with you
17. Flirting with men
18. Having one-night stands
19. Having consensual sex with multiple partners
20. Enjoying being submissive
21. Enjoying BDSM stuff
22. Letting a man pay for your dinner/drink/date activity
23. Showing off your body
24. Hiding your body
25. Being especially “masculine”
26. Being especially “girly”
27. Being shy
28. Being jealous of other women sometimes
29. Being proud of a male friend/coworker/acquaintance's accomplishments
30. Disliking another woman
31. Enjoying television shows/movies/video games that don’t have great female representation
32. Enjoying porn
33. Enjoying stuff that displays heteronormative romantic cliches (e.g. rom-coms)
34. Liking weddings
35. Wanting to be a stay-at-home mom
36. Being in a sorority
37. Enjoying domestic chores
38. Enjoying cooking for other people
39. Wanting to do things for a man that you love to make him happy
40. Wanting a job that is typically pursued by more women than men
41. Liking being pampered
42. Decidedly following certain “ladylike” etiquette guidelines
43. Wanting a man to make the first move
44. Making the first move yourself
45. Enjoying it when a man holds a door open for you, pulls out your chair for you, etc.
46. Liking Disney princesses
47. Wanting a man to stand up for you in certain situations
48. Being in a committed relationship
49. Disagreeing with other feminists about certain matters
50. Choosing not to attend protests or rallies all the time.
And finally, one thing that makes you less of a feminist:
- Shaming women for doing any of these things
Feminism isn’t a competition. It’s about believing in, and being an advocate for equality among all gender identities. It isn’t about hating straight, cisgender men. It definitely isn’t about hating each other. We can’t shame each other, or try to exhibit that we are more feminist than our friends. We all need to encourage each other to be the most kind, caring, and educated people that we can be. Be a feminist by being yourself, doing what makes you happy, being good to others, and respecting the rights of others to do the same.
