Oh, good old KSU. It's been a wild ride these past four years, and I have loved every second of it. Now that I am on my way out, however, I do have some burning questions that I've had since freshman year that simply need to answered.
1. Why did you build a college campus on literally the only part of Ohio that isn't flat?
2. Why do all the food options in the hub suck?
3. Why do teachers who receive terrible evaluations still work here?
4. Why is PARTA the reason I have trust issues?
5. Why is the WiFi a joke?
6. Why doesn't Verder hall have air conditioning?
7. Why do mint Oreos cost $6 at Rosie's market?
Six. F**king. Dollars. I'm bitter.
8. Why aren't there enough outlets in public seating areas?
9. Why do we have to pay $250 for a book that isn't even bound?
10. Why do classes not get canceled when it's negative 20 degrees outside?
11. Why isn't there ever enough parking?
12. Why aren't there any parking garages?
13. When did larping become so popular?
14. Why, if I get too many tickets, do you boot my car?
15. Don't you want me to NOT be parked there?
16. Why is one of the qualifications for working for Parking Services being an asshole?
17. Why don't any of the cafes in any of the buildings take the meal plan?
18. Why is scheduling for classes the closest thing Ohio will ever see to an IRL "Hunger Games?"
19. Why is Bev Warren the cutest thing I've ever seen?
Seriously, though, love her.
20. Why does it always rain on Kent holidays?
Flashfest, Homecoming, Fake Patty's Day....
21. Why don't we have real doctors in the health center?
22. Why can't we use meal plan at certain times?
23. Why the hell would you start road construction during the middle of the semester?
24. When will we have a semester when a new building isn't going up?
25. Why can't I wear a dress or skirt without fear of a vicious wind attack?
26. With all the construction, why don't we build something to fix the wind tunnel?
27. Where are the hotties at!? Like, come on!
(Probably at the rec... Where I should go more often... Oops.)
28. Why do professors use books they've authored as required texts?
29. Why doesn't the Starbucks in the library take meal plans?
30. Why isn't food truck open for dinner?
31. Why haven't we made the black squirrel our official mascot?
32. Speaking of, what is exactly is a golden flash?
33. Why would we buy a parking pass when none of the lots are reasonably near any buildings?
Unless you have a C-all pass you're screwed.
34. Why did you spend money making the inside of the elevators gold?
35. Why do none of the advisers actually know what they're doing?
36. Why do I know more about what I need and what needs to be done than them?
37. Why must we get alerted when every branch campus has classes canceled?
38. Do you like rubbing it in our faces!?
39. Why are the McGilvery bathrooms the creepiest places I have ever experienced?
40. Why is the male to female ratio so out of whack?
41. Pepsi products. Just, why.
42. Why are the meters $1.50 for an hour?
43. Why must the Kent Market 2 close so early?
44. What are the people who live in Engleman supposed to do about the ghost?
45. Why are bathrooms for males/females on every other floor of the lib?
46. Is the "get hit by a car on campus—get free tuition" thing even real?
47. Why do the squirrels think they're human?
48. Why am I the one that has to move when crossing paths with them?
