I wish I could say I'm an expert on candy because that would likely mean I get to eat a lot of it and therefore I would have a more educated opinion on it. However, I can't afford [in every sense of the word] to eat candy all day long so this ranking is simply a consensus of opinions on various candies from childhood Halloween parties. Here are five of the worst candies to get while trick-or-treating plus my absolute favorite one.
1. Banana Laffy Taffy
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Have you guys ever eaten a banana? I for one, actually like the favor of a real banana and this is just insulting. What is this flavor supposed to be? The only thing these were good for is trading with the little sisters for something a little more appealing.
2. Dum Dums
These actually aren't the worst thing ever. They're great for bribing students and I'll accept them as gift for finishing a test, but Dum Dums are rather disappointing to get in a candy basket. Sugar is cool, but these don't really have a flavor.
3. Twizzlers
Red Vines are where it's at! I'll concede the point that some actually like the artificial strawberry taste; I do as well, when the candy is meant to be strictly strawberry flavored. However, these are supposed to be like licorice and therefore make a lame substitute for those who genuinely like licorice. Strawberry and corn syrup do not for good Halloween candy make.
4. Strawberry Bon Bons
Did you know these are called Strawberry Bon Bons? I certainly didn't. In fact, let it be known that I found this photo by Googling "strawberry grandma candy." Yes, these candies of sadness and disappointment only came from you grandma which is sweet because you know you're loved but also sad because they taste awful. You eat one because you love grandma, but the rest go into the trash.
5. Raisins
I actually really like raisins, but they aren't candy. I repeat: they are not candy! As a lame 19 year old I'll gladly accept these because they're still sweet, but any five year old is likely to be disappointed by your "healthy alternative." Give the kid raisins to take to school as part of lunch, but please just let them have real candy on Halloween.
Now, for my personal favorite candy of all time:
Chocolate-covered coffee beans!
I know, I know -- it's lame grown up candy. Maybe it's the bitterness of life [Total joke! God is way too good to me for life to be bitter - and don't anyone forget it!] but these precious gems wrap all of that into a sweet little chocolaty candy perfect for snacking, dessert, on-the-go sugar and caffeine boost and your average picker-upper. These are my all time favorite way to enjoy sugar and I highly recommend them. Pro-tip: WINCO sells them in bulk!
Enjoy your candy all!
