1. How to Attain the Perfect Fake Laugh

You know, those customers that come in thinking they’re the headliner of the most popular comedy club. They make the super corny jokes that you feel obligated to giggle at just so they don’t feel bad. Those are the customers I can thank for helping me figure out the key to that perfect fake laugh.

2.) How to Keep My Cool

Because why should I get mad when someone comes in 2 minutes before closing on a Friday night?

3.) How to Stall

When I say “There might be something in the back, let me go check,” there’s nothing in the back. I’m just building up the courage to tell you that we’re out of stock, praying to God that you won’t yell at me.

4.) How to Work Under Pressure

I’m already stressed out enough at work, but please, continue to breath down my neck while I’m searching for the item you need! And hey, feel free to trail along right after me while I finally tracked down the item that you’ll probably just end up changing your mind about anyways

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5.) How to be Patient

Yes, it is frustrating having to repeat myself a million times, or waiting for the customer to make their mind up whether they are going to actually purchase something or not. But hey, take your time, I’m here for another 8 hours!