It has taken me a while to tell if my friends that I had were toxic or not. I think I have figured out what makes great friends...in fact, they're pretty amazing.
1. They take care of you.
No matter what situation you're in good friends are always willing to take care of you. Now don't get me wrong they shouldn't ALWAYS need to take care of you, but when you need it they're there. Over the summer I've had a friend that would hang out with me or I'd hang out with her whenever we felt lonely/sad and needed someone there to cheer us up. My friends are also always there to hear me rant or give me advice. I also have friends at Ball State who is willing to take care of me when I'm not feeling well. For example this weekend I wasn't feeling the best, but I went over to my friend's dorm because we were supposed to study together. I definitely thought I was doing better than I was. When I got to her place I lied down on the floor because I was tired and felt like passing out. She gave me water and vitamin water; plus some food. She then offered up her bed so I could sleep. After I woke up I hung out for a little and then contacted a friend to see if he would come to where I was and walk me back to my dorm. This probably wasn't necessary but I didn't want to take the chance of almost passing out again while walking home. We ended up in his dorm for a little talking and him being extra sure that I was okay.
2. They make sure you get where you're going okay.
This one is very important to me. My family lost my dad unexpectedly and so I try to tell my friends to tell me when they make it home safe, but I didn't really expect them to do that to me. However, most of my friends do. Back home it's usually when I'm driving my friends will tell me to text them when I get home. They don't do this very often, but they do still do it. One of my friends back home will also tell me to drive safe when I drop her off at her house. My friends here also tell me to text them when I get back to my dorm. One of my friends, though, will tell me to text him no matter what time it is or where I'm going. The other day I was leaving his place around 8:30 pm and it wasn't dark yet, but he still told me to text him when I got back to my dorm. He'll even do this when I'm not with him. One night around 11:00 I was going somewhere with a friend and we were out with some of his. He saw me and asked where I was going; when I told him, he told me to text him when I got there and when I got home. This may seem small but it still shows me that they care about me and my safety.
3. They are down with (almost) everything.
Friends that are willing to walk around, drive around, or even just sit at home and watch Netflix are amazing. All of my friends are willing to either sit around and do nothing or to go do something. Whether or not it's actually going and doing something or just walking/driving around somewhere. At Ball State pretty much none of my friends (including me) have cars, so most the time we just sit around in someone's dorm. The only day when this was different was when I was hanging out in one my friend's dorm with him and his friend. We were all bored and I mentioned wanting to go to Target at some point because Target is Heaven. Then my friend suggested we just go now since his friend has her car with her and we were all bored. We ended up going to Target and then the Muncie Mall not looking for anything specific, but primarily just walking around. It was honestly really fun.
4. You can make fun of each other to an extent.
All of my friends can make fun of each other and if don't like something then we tell each other. This doesn't happen often though because we pretty much know when a joke is too far. An example of these jokes is the other day when my friend, Alia, and I were making fun of our friend, Daniel, for not being able to walk in a straight line. Daniel never walks in a straight line so we asked him if he could. He told us that he can if he really focuses and so we started jokingly started asking him questions about it. Like we would ask him if he could chew gum and walk in a straight line, or if he could drink something and walk in a straight line. We also joked that he couldn't walk in a straight line because he is secretly gay. He isn't but he makes those types of jokes all the time and he's really secure about his masculinity so we knew it was okay.
5. Lastly, friends that don't make you feel like you're below them.
I have had multiple friends who have made me feel like this. Thankfully I am no longer friends with them. I am also thankful for them because I learned from them. I learned what makes a good friend for me and we weren't good friends for each other in general. None of my friends now make me feel like I am below them; they make me feel like we are on the same level as each other. It's wonderful and makes me feel better about myself, because I'm no longer worried about constantly pleasing them or worry about what I'm doing wrong. I can be myself and they'll accept me.
My friends that I have now are pretty amazing and I love them so much.
