Last week marked the beginning of my final semester at Truman State University, something I genuinely cannot believe I'm saying (mostly because I'm shocked I haven't gotten into some kind of serious accident or fallen through a crack in the sidewalk into a dark, inescapable void). So, naturally, with an impending ending comes nostalgia. In my case, I get nostalgic whether I want to or not. It's like everything I experience from here on out is gonna be all rose-tinted, even if it shouldn't be. For example, I shouldn't look at a dead fish in Bear Creek and think, "Wow, what if this is the last time I see a creature belly up in this overly-polluted creek?" Like, that's not great.
And yet, here I am.
Anyway, I figured that in honor of my last first week of undergrad, I should document what it was like for both my own nostalgic purposes and posterity. I don't know, it just seems like maybe the world should know what it's like to be welcomed back to Truman and the town of Kirksville. The following are a few highlights from my first week back.
1. The "Silent Hill"-esque mist
Nothing like driving back into your creepy college town in a dense fog that has you feeling like some Stephen King-style monster is gonna jump out at you any minute. Honestly, it was so thick, I could barely see fifty feet in front of me, even with the brights on. Truly, nothing has made me feel more like I'd made some terrible mistake and ended up in a horror movie quite like driving back to Kirksville last Monday. I keep expecting the "Silent Hill" siren to ring out over this eerie town, but as of yet, it hasn't happened. The fog hasn't really lifted yet, though, so I'm giving it time. There's definitely still time for some terrible disaster to occur.
2. The whole cauliflower in the field behind Barnett
I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure there's a whole cauliflower sitting in the open field behind Barnett Hall. I'm still not sure about what kind of omen this is, but I'm not too keen on finding out. It's just that kind of thing that seems so out of place that it's not even funny, it's just unsettling. I've passed it a few times now; it hasn't moved. I don't know why I expect it to.
3. The Razor scooter incident
I still don't have enough answers about this occurrence, but I didn't feel entirely welcome when I found a Razor scooter just hanging out on top of my backpack one day after work. It also didn't help that I knocked over a bunch of coats and other peoples' backpacks in my attempts to free it from beneath that absurd monstrosity. One thing I really won't miss about Truman: how many Razor scooters there are. Seeing even one on campus is too many.
4. English majors
I did this to myself, I know that. I guess I just thought maybe somehow taking a lit class would be different this time, like maybe somehow it wouldn't be full of some of the most ridiculous people I have ever experienced in my life. But I was — as I tend to be — wrong. It only took the first half hour of class to assure me of this fact when a dude wearing a paperboy hat said that the phrase "young adult" reminded him of "the commodification of identity." Anyway, I don't know how I managed this long as an English major myself. Also, if I ever say anything this pretentious, I just want you to kill me. Please, just end it.
5. My singing neighbor
I've never met my neighbors. I don't know if this is due to my reclusive nature or theirs, but either way, they remain a mystery to me. Especially the one who always sings. I first encountered this phenomenon when we just happened to be showering at the same time. Our bathrooms align with each other, meaning that I was able to hear every last note they belted out. Unfortunately, it just so happened to be a song from "Lemonade Mouth," a DCOM so bad that I actually cried while watching it (and definitely not because I was emotional). Most recently, I have heard them on the other side of the wall singing lots of strange, warbling scales. I hope I get to meet this mysterious person before I move out. It would be a shame to never let them know how much I appreciate their company when I'm brushing my teeth or popping zits.
