The time is long overdue for us to reform the methods through which we register people into feminism; induction by ritualistic bra burning is simply not selective enough. The menace of the fauxmenist is upon us. Sure they blend right in, with their "Rosie the Riveter" T-shirts and dyed armpit hair, but they are not one of us.

We must learn their (not so) subtle differences and hunt them down (figuratively, guys). We've got Beyoncé in our ranks; we can no longer allow these fauxmenists to make us look bad. Here are five reforms we need.

1. Intersectionality should be a prerequisite.

If your feminism isn't intersectional, we don't want it. I'm looking at you, white feminists of the world. The Meryl Streeps who emphatically clapped on through Patricia Arquette's affirmation that "we (women) have fought for everybody else's equal rights."

The fans of Lena Dunham who didn't notice that she "accidentally" forgot to include any people of color in a show set in one of the most diverse cities on earth (same goes for fans of "Friends").

The Perez's of the world who apologized for their response being "overly-sensitive" when Kelly Osbourne asked: "If you kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?" After all, you shouldn't point out when your fellow woman is being problematic. That's pitting women against each other and feeding into patriarchy, right? (I'm looking at you Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj).

Yes, Patricia Arquette, Lena Dunham, and Kelly Osbourne are directly at fault. But their actions don't need much momentum, only our subtle approval, to gain the force they need to be damaging.

Part of privilege is the fact that we don't have to forget that other types of people exist, we don't notice them in the first place. That's how Lena Dunham set out to create a show that was "super-specific to my experience," and ended up totally forgetting to include people of color in it.

The fact that we were trained to think exclusively is not an excuse. It is our job as the privileged, to educate ourselves on the oppression of others in order to deprogram the learned oppressive attitudes we nursed in our upbringing. And for God's sake, do it without looking for a pat on the back.

Which brings us to a point of irony. Didn't I just say we should actively include others in our feminism, and yet only gave examples of fauxmenism as relating to race? Intersectionality is much much larger than race and women. It's trans and it's queer and it's not able bodied and it's anybody. But I wanted to illustrate one key thing to look for in any potential feminists. We should accept candidates based on the following.

2. Ability to shut up.

I have a motto: "You can't f**k up if you shut up." This motto stems from my dear mother, an immigrant, who hated how much American's apologized and would constantly remind me "I don't want your apology, just don't f**k up in the first place."

Trust me, I'm still guilty of not shutting up. I learn something new about the struggles of a people to whom I don't belong and I feel like I have to put it on blast. But knowledge in the hands of the privileged is clumsy; we can never fully understand it. And no one needs you to speak for them.

Because here's the thing: when a privileged person speaks about the oppressed, they are shutting them up. As the privileged your voice will always be louder than the oppressed whether you want it to be or not. Besides the fact that you are not going to get everything right, you'll be taking the focus away from the people at hand. Ironically, allies should stick to two other motto's that held women back for so long: "speak only when spoken to" and "your presence should be felt not heard."

Don't be the straight white guy getting famous off of making songs about the struggles of queer people through use of a black medium (looking at you Macklemore).

But you are human, so you are going to mess up. That's okay because you are a feminist and you know what to do when that happens. Fauxmenists however, don't know what to do when they find themselves with their foot inexplicably in their mouths. The tell-tale sign of a fauxmenist is their inability to...

3. Apologize.

Moments ago I said they don't mean anything and I still hold true to that personally. But there is some value if your apology is less a way out of hot waters and more a promise to change. A good place to start change is in your ...

4. Language, language, language.

When Donald Trump was asked during last Thursday's debate, "You once told a contestant on "Celebrity Apprentice" it would be a pretty picture to see her on her knees. Does that sound to you like the temperament of a man we should elect as president?" He responded with a classic, "I think the big problem this country has is being politically correct."

If taking special care with your language bothers you, think about it this way: you now have something in common with Donald Trump. In fact, we should henceforth call the act of calling something politically correct, "Donald Trumping." A name so horrifying people would immediately stop using the accusation to justify their laziness.

Making you seem like you are being hysterical by getting upset about language used is one way fauxmenists keep the movement down. Sure, they might understand why calling woman a "cunt" and a man a "boss" in the exact same situation is problematic. But they don't understand why you can't say "nigga," even when it's in the line of your favorite rap song.

5. We must immediately reject anyone easily confused by "meninism."

Here is what our screening test for potential candidates to the movement should be:

If you are swayed by this little gem right here, you are not yet ready to graduate to feminism. I could go line by line debunking her argument with straightforward facts (like the fact that while men commit more suicides, but women attempt it more often).

But that won't fix the fact that you don't understand that systems disadvantaging men are rooted in sexism against women. When we don't understand the fact that equality does not mean giving voice and platform to the privileged masses, or that the oppressed need their spaces and movements that are separate, we fall prey to the #alllivesmatter B.S.

Moment of honesty: there is probably a little fauxmenist in all of us but it's not an excuse. It isn't irreparable damage or an incurable disease. It's ignorance.

To understand our struggle is against ignorance and is to understand that we can overcome.