As transgender issues come into the media's light more and more, so does the idea of "non-binary identities". The idea of a gender binary, that is, the idea that the only genders are "male" and "female", is a very modern and westernized idea. More than two genders can be found in Native American culture, Indian culture, Samoan culture, and a whole host of other non-western societies. Changes in society and language are now enabling people who have never felt entirely male or female to explore their gender with greater ease. That being said, western culture and society is still a very binary-focused place. Following are some suggestions for making the world a more non-binary friendly place, coming from a local neighborhood enby!
1. Become Educated
Most people know very little about non-binary identities unless they have frequent interactions with people under the transgender umbrella. Help combat this by educating yourself! "Explaining Gender: A Helpful Graphic-Guide to the Gender Multiverse" is an article I wrote a couple of months ago that goes into the details of what non-binary genders are, aided with lots of pictures! Other resources worth exploring are nonbinary.org, lifeoutsidethebinary.com, and genderspectrum.org. Remember, knowledge is power!
2. Ask People for their Pronouns
Have you ever mistakenly called a woman "sir" or a man "ma'am"? Most people have, and it's awkward for everyone involved. With transgender and non-binary individuals, this is an everyday occurrence. Being labeled "he" or "she" incorrectly can make people very uncomfortable when that term doesn't resonate with them. Try asking people what pronouns they prefer upon meeting them. Normalizing asking for pronouns or including it in introductions helps make the world a less frightening place for all trans, non-binary, and gender nonconforming people! It can be as simple as, "Hello, my name is _____, and my pronouns are _____."
3. Strive to Use the Correct Pronouns
Once you know someone's pronouns, try to use them! This can be difficult when people use a new set of pronouns, or if they use any set of non-binary pronouns, but it's simple to get used to it with practice! Here are some common pronouns!
4. Remember that Presentation Does NOT Equal Gender
Although many people use their clothing, hairstyles, make-up choices, and presentation aspects to affirm their gender, presentation DOES NOT equal gender! This is especially important to remember for non-binary people. Just because someone dresses "like a girl" or has short hair "like a boy" does not mean that's how they identify themselves. Being perfectly androgynous is not the only way to be non-binary, and not being androgynous does not make a person more "binary oriented" than another non-binary person.
and finally...
5. Respect Non-binary People's Labels!
This is a big one. Recently, there has been a lot of articles mocking "Tumblr genders", which is a non-exhaustive list of non-binary identities. Because gender is a social construct and a completely personal experience, it can be confusing. If someone feels comfortable with a certain label, whether you find it confusing or not, respect it! Do not insult it! Do not make jokes about it! Do not circulate jokes about other non-binary identities! The world is a difficult place, and it can be especially so when you're trying to find yourself. Don't make that worse for somebody, just be kind and respectful!
(Please note that this graphic is no where near complete)
Follow these few simple suggestions and the world can become a more welcoming place to people all of genders, cisgender, transgender, non-binary, or otherwise!
Best wishes, a tired agender individual
