I can remember being in high school and finding it really disheartening that I’d never dated a guy. I thought maybe no one wanted to date me or that I wasn’t worthy of the attention of any guys but I’ve come to realize that I was spared a whole lot of heartbreak. I watched friends get hurt time and time again because truth is, we were nothing more than teenagers with raging hormones and no idea of what real commitment entailed.

Now that I’m in college, it’s so easy to revert back to those high school thoughts. But now there’s even more pressure to find the one you’re going to spend forever with. Family and friends are constantly asking if you’re dating anybody and what guys you like and, “I don’t have time for guys right now” is never a truly acceptable answer.

However, in this season of singleness, God has shown me that it’s okay to embrace it. He has a special man out there for me somewhere and I only have to submit to His will and His design.

Here are ways I have learned to be content in this season of life:

1. Find your identity in Christ.

I think it’s so important that before you date anyone you find your identity in Christ and that you date them for the right reasons. Not because you’re trying to find your identity in that relationship or what the other person thinks of you, but because you can truly see a future with that person. You’re attracted to the other person because of their heart for Christ and vice versa. When you find your identity in Him, it can’t be taken away.

2. You don't have a huge commitment to another person, so you can be committed to sharing the Gospel.

One of my all time favorite authors of the Bible to read about is Paul. I think his story of going from a man living in sin, murdering Christians, to a man that was a sold-out follower of Christ, imprisoned and willing to die for the Gospel is such a testimony of what you’re able to risk when you are not committed to another person. For commitment brings responsibility, and in God’s timing this can be a good thing, but don’t rush it. You never know who you could impact for the cause of the Kingdom when you’re content in this season of your life.

3. Get to know yourself and who God created you to be.

I have to say one of my favorite parts about not being in a relationship is the opportunity that I get to spend time alone with Christ. He is always teaching me something new about my heart, even though sometimes it’s sin that I need to deal with. Relationships take up so much time, and sometimes if we’re not ready for that level of commitment it can take away from our quiet time with Christ; therefore impeding our spiritual growth. God is constantly showing me that He should be my fulfillment and that my future husband will be my support and his job is to point me back to Christ, but before I can commit myself to another person, I need to learn all I can about who I am in Christ.

4. Understand that you don't have to be like everyone else.

If God hasn’t put that special person in your life, don’t worry, He has a plan for your life that’s so much better than you could imagine. Maybe God wants you to commit to being single so you can devote your time to better serving His kingdom. Or maybe He wants you to get married, have kids, and raise future Christians who can go and further His kingdom. Whatever the case, He is sovereign and knows exactly what the future holds for you.

5. Invest into the lives of others.

This is something you can do, single or not, but again, you’ll have a lot more time to do it when your commitments are fewer. Something that God has been laying on my heart recently is making myself more available for my sorority sisters, friends, and others in my life. I find myself so busy all of the time that I never have time to stop and see the needs of those around me. It is so rewarding to invest in someone’s life. Nothing makes my soul happier than to walk closely with dear friends who are struggling and in need of godly encouragement or those less fortunate than me.

My prayer is that in seasons of singleness we would grow closer to Christ and prepare ourselves for whatever commitments Christ has for us in His sovereign will.