5 Ways To Prove You're Bi | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

5 Ways To Prove You're Bi

Because what other people think about your sexuality is the most important thing!

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5 Ways To Prove You're Bi
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Don’t Date Anyone Ever

A lot of people say that you have to prove that you have dated more than one person of gender but I say nah, if you don’t date anyone they can’t say you are only attracted to one gender! You Also won’t get caught in the “well, you’re dating a certain gender right now so that means you’re gay/straight!”

“If you have only dated one gender then you aren’t bi.”

“Ha! Trick! I haven’t dated anyone!”

Disclaimer: this trick might not work if you are hit with the “you just haven’t met the right gender yet” line. Also, some people will think that you are actually ace so it might open up another conversation of discrimination and ignorance. Be prepared.

Always Wear Clothing With The Bi Flag On It

If you are wearing a piece of pink, purple, and blue on you then everyone will undoubtedly get the message. If someone doubts you just rip off the piece of clothing and shove it in their face.

“I don’t think you’re bi.”

“Oh yeah? How about this?”

“Oh wow, I see the light because you threw a pink, purple, and blue pair of pants at my face!”

“Nailed it.”

Disclaimer: Make sure all your bi flag clothing can be easily taken off your body so the moment can be as dramatic as possible. Also, it’s a good idea to wear more than one item of bi flag clothing in case you're faced with this scenario before you can get dressed again.

Have Lots of Sex

Because bi people are known to just be horny one-dimensional monsters who love sex with every one of every gender this is an easy way to prove you are bi! Make sure you don’t form any emotional connection and that your sex life is really toxic so people believe you!

“Do you want to hang out tonight?”

“I can’t. I’m going to this big bi orgy tonight.”

“Wow, how very bi of you!”

“I know. I don’t really feel comfortable about it but at least I’m proving how bi I am!”

“That’s the most important thing!”

Disclaimer: It’s okay if people slut-shame you, that means you’re doing it right because obviously, people with active sex lives should be shamed and being ashamed is what being bi is all about.

Turn Invisible

As we all know, bi people can turn invisible even when they aren’t trying. You need to learn to perfect this skill and be able to control it so you can fade away when someone decides to doubt your identity. If you don’t have this ability then I’m sorry sweetie, you’re just confused!

“I need to talk to you about your confusion!”

“…”

“Wait, where did you go?”

Seclude Yourself From Society

This is like turning invisible but it’s more permeant. If you don’t live near any one then you won’t have to deal with their questioning. You don’t have to prove you’re bi to anyone if you are living off the land in the middle of the wilderness. Don’t worry, wild animals wouldn’t dare question your sexuality, they have more important things to worry about.

“…”

“Please don’t eat me bear, I’m bi!”

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