Give yourself the time you need.
Finding a way to be okay takes time. Finding a way to move past something, to be yourself again, to find your happiness; it takes time. You have to give this to yourself. Be sad, throw a fit, cry in your roommate’s arms at 4am, eat an entire box of brownies. Do what you need to do to accept what has happened and understand that it will take time. It could be a week, 2 weeks, or 2 months but you have to give yourself this period to grieve and then you can start to rebuild yourself.
Accept that not everything can be fixed.
It’s important to realize that not every hardship you face is something that can be fixed. Some things are put in your life to test you and your patience. Sometimes you just have to move past these heartaches and remember that they don’t need to control you or your feelings. You’ll look back and be thankful you were able to grow from the difficult situations and even more thankful you didn’t waste your time trying to fix them.
Listen to your family and friends.
If there is anything in this world that I can promise you, it is that your parents are right. There have been so many situations throughout my life that if I had just listened to my parents they could have been totally avoided. Your parents know you better than you think they do and they do know what is best for you in the long time (most of the time).
And if you don’t want to listen to your family, listen to your friends. Your best friends will always have your best interest at heart and they will be able to guide you through any kind of bounce back you need. You’re not alone in this and your family and friends will be there endlessly. Trust me on this one.
Keep yourself busy.
In my experience, the best way to function while going through a hard time is to not think about it, which is seemingly impossible. Get busy, be busy, and stay busy. Take that extra class you were still deciding on, sign up for the kickboxing class you were thinking about, adopt a kitten, learn how to make your favorite drink from Starbucks. Find something, maybe multiple somethings, to fill your time and your thoughts.
Remember that this won’t break you.
It is hard to look at a situation that feels like it’s ripping you apart and remember that you are incredible, but you have to find a way to do it. Think of all the times you thought something was going to kill you, and how it didn’t. Think of all the times you thought you would never be able to move on, and then you did. Think of all the times you thought it was impossible to recover, and then you did. There are a million times that we think we won’t survive and then miraculously, we do. You haven’t been broken before and you aren’t broken now.
Finding a way to bounce back, to rebuild, to find a new normal, is hard. It’s really hard. There are no right or wrong ways to do it, but keeping these five things in mind when you feel like you’re facing the world will help. I’m still trying to do it, too.
