Have you ever seen someone and known right away this was the man you were going to marry he just doesn't know it yet? Me too. You start formulating your plan to make him fall in love with you, and it's all going great until you come across one minor problem: he has a girlfriend. Here are the thoughts that go through your head when this happens.
1. I need to stalk this girl on every form of social media right now.
Instagram? Check. Facebook? Check. Twitter? Check. (Shoutout to the people that have their accounts on private. Thanks for nothing.) Does she have a Tumblr? A Youtube account she posted weird videos on when she was trying to start a vlog back in middle school? Maybe so. I might as well Google her, too, while I'm at it and find every time she made her high school honor roll. Couldn't hurt.
2. I'm way cuter.
Now that I've flipped through 10,000 pictures of the girlfriend, I've come to the conclusion that I'm definitely cuter than she is. That dress she wore to her senior prom? Nope. Mine was better. She does that weird thing with her eye when she smiles, too. Maybe I'm making it up to feel better about my chances with my future husband, but if I ask my friends, they'll say I'm cuter, too.
3. I'd be so much better for him.
I'll have a more steady job. Our kids will be more symmetrical. I could be all he's ever wanted and more. He doesn't even realize how good my chicken salad is, yet.
4. He needs time to grow up.
Their relationship is just a learning experience for him. He needs to learn what not to do in a relationship. Then, they'll realize they're not right for each other, and he'll be with me, and live happily ever after.
5. I just want him to be happy.
And what makes him happy is going to be me. So call me soon, please? Thanks.