College is a weird time. Your friends begin to get engaged and married, and then there's the group that is not in this stage yet. I'm 22 years old, in my last year of college, and I've been on the single train for a while. In this season, it's so easy to feel discouraged and lonely, and if you're battling with these, I understand you.

During this season, I hear a lot of things. That's where this stems from. To the people in relationships, and engaged, and even married, this is for you.

Things NOT to say to a single girl:

1. "You're too picky."

Every girl dreams of their ideal man, whether his personality or his looks. When I was in early high school, I wrote out my list of things I'm looking for in a guy, and now at 22 years old, it's safe to say my list has changed (yes, sadly I've ditched the desire to date a boy with Justin Bieber's signature hair style), and I think we can all admit it's a wonderful thing that we don't want the same thing we wanted at 14 years old (except I still want Justin Timberlake, honestly).

All of that to say, yes. We have standards. And that is okay. I think the fact that we all value different traits (whether physical or personality-wise) is a real testament to the creativity God had when he designed each of us. And over the course of time, through maturation and through other relationships, we learn what we want and what we don't want. And you are entitled to those standards.

The Lord knows your desires, and guess what? He is able to go far beyond our wildest dreams when He fulfills his promises (Ephesians 3:20).

2. "I'll try to hide my happiness about my relationship around you."

I'm still unsure of why this is a phrase to begin with. Here's the thing: Just because I am single, doesn't mean I'm not happy. Would being in a relationship be great? Yeah, sure. But just because that's lacking, doesn't mean I am.

My identity does not and should not lie in my relationship status.

I've had girls tell me that they were sorry I don't feel their happiness yet, and that honestly rips any happiness I feel away for a moment. The Lord brings joy in each season. Regardless of my status. And this is not to disqualify any happiness that people that are dating may feel, but it's disqualifying the notion that because I am single, I'm not happy. Joy should lie in the love of the Lord and that alone.

3. "It'll happen when you least expect it."

My grandmother is the cutest person ever. Multiple times, she's told me different scenarios in which I could meet someone. Getting coffee, studying, in the grocery store. You name it, she's predicted it. And it is pretty adorable when she does it (because grandma's have that power). But I don't want my life to be constantly on guard, ready to meet someone. I want to live my life enjoying the life I live now.

Yes, I understand that is when you're not focused on meeting someone, that's, in a way, proving their point. But I found that when people tell me this, it makes me more and more anxious to do mundane things. It brings it to my attention more and it doesn't allow me to just simply live.

4. "You should go out more, and maybe you'll meet someone."

There are three things you should know about me: First, I'm a full time student. Second, I also have a job. Third, I really value my time where I get to sit and unwind.

I'm not a hermit crab. I do go out some nights, I'm involved in groups, and I spend time with friends. But there are nights where I'm in my room in my pajamas, either watching Netflix or doing homework.One night in is not going to disqualify me from the dating game. There are nights I need to study. There are nights I need to go to sleep early. There are nights where I have to spend time alone to re-energize from the busy life I live.

5. "How are you single? You're so fun/cute?"

I'm never sure how to answer this, so I usually awkwardly shrug and giggle, saying "I don't know, honestly." This isn't about me lacking something. It's about where I'm at in my life right now.

And when I'm asked this, this can turn into, "maybe I'm not fun/cute after all."

It's not about that, and never should be. Asking questions regarding why I'm single just makes me think that since I am, something might actually be wrong with me.

All of this to say, you shouldn't be afraid to talk to me now. Just because I listed things you shouldn't say doesn't mean I'm not looking to continue conversations or even friendships. Believe it or not (emphasis on that sarcasm), I'm about to talk about things other than relationships.

But in case the topic gets brought up, don't be afraid to talk to me about it. Tell me about your life! Tell me about the excitement you're experiencing! Single doesn't mean horrendous.

Things you SHOULD say to a single girl:

1. "You are still loved."

This season can be very discouraging if you allow it to. And there are days where I'm more discouraged then encouraged. And that's okay! On those days of discouragement, I tend to feel a little unloved. And it's dangerous to feel that way, because that's the farthest thing from truth.

The truth is that I am loved by my friends, my family, and my Creator. And me being single does not change that. In order to live like I am loved, I must be treated like I am.

2. "Nothing is wrong with you."

When I get into those moments of disappointment over my singleness, I begin to pick myself apart. I look at my flaws, and blame those for my lack of a relationship. I begin to hate the way I laugh, or my curves, or my hair, or my nervous habits. And this is dangerous, too.

Sometimes, I need to be reminded that nothing is wrong with the way I am. That I was intricately created by a God who loves me the way I am (Psalm 139). And one day, maybe I'll find a guy who loves the way I wheeze when I laugh, and the way I wear confidence in my favorite outfit, and the way my hair falls in my face, or the way I bite my top lip when I'm thinking. But for now, I get to rejoice in the fact that THIS is how I was created. Hand crafted by the God who created each star and gave them a name (Psalm 147:4).

3. "What are you learning in life right now?"

I may not be learning to plan a wedding, or learning anything in a relationship, but I am learning. I'm learning to be a teacher, I'm learning to be a friend, and I'm learning to be a mentor. I'm learning how to depend on the Lord for anything and everything. I'm learning how to budget my finances, and how to balance my time.

Oh boy, I am learning a lot.

And I love to share it. I love to tell people what God is teaching me in this season; not only my single season, but also my season as a college student, as a church leader, as a roommate, and as a worker at my current job.

Life is full of seasons. Let's all work together to encourage one another, regardless of what season we're in.