High school is supposed to be the place where you learn important life skills that will help you as an adult and as you navigate college in the real world. Unfortunately, the American school system has different ideas about what is important for people to know, so I can play a recorder but I can’t balance a checkbook. I guess I’ll uses that skill somewhere later in life. This is why I have compiled a list of things I really wish I learned in high school that might be more helpful as a fledgling adult.
1. How to do perfect winged eyeliner
Nothing says: “This person has their life together” like perfectly even-winged eyeliner. I wish that instead of learning what type of photosynthesis cacti experience, someone had taught me how to make my face look better after not sleeping for three days. Just makeup in general would have been a good skill to learn. Studies show that women in a professional setting are perceived to be more competent if they are wearing makeup, and if I’m going to be judged based on the way I paint my face, I better know how to paint it well.
2. How to study
In high school, I was that person that never studied. I didn’t study because I didn’t know how to study. Different people study in different ways, and I wish that I explored the possibilities in high school instead of being thrown to the wolves in college. I wish someone sat down with me and said, “Real life is harder than this, so you best figure this out now!” But alas, fairy godmothers don’t exist and guidance counselors have real problems to deal with.
3. How to communicate like a grown human being
In high school, I perfected my texting style, excelled at passing notes and dabbled in writing angsty journal entries. I had little experience communicating like an adult. I had little experience in emails. Emails were for old people. My grandparents email each other! I had an email address of course, but it was for playing Maplestory and signing up for things at stores in the mall. I wish someone had taught me how to compose a professional email before I had to learn the hard way at 2 a.m. (when most important life lessons are learned in college).
4. How to effectively manage my time
5. Math
Lastly, I wish I learned math in high school. I know I took math classes — I got all the way to AP Calculus — but I look at numbers sometimes and feel like I don’t have any clue what to do with them. I wish I had learned important math! I wish I knew how to calculate the tip when I go to restaurants. I wish I knew how to find 20 percent of 37 dollars so I know how to find the good sales at stores. I wish I knew how to find out how long it would take me to drive 30 miles at 20 miles an hour. But I don’t. I do not know math, and it’s a crying shame.
I suppose there are things that I learned in high school that have helped me in life, like social skills, reading comprehension, how to make a mean cup of coffee, how to make flash cards and promptly lose them, how to smile when you want to cry, how to make awesome friends, how to flirt with boys (or how to use your feminine wiles to get smart boys to let you copy their homework), how to google the answers to your homework, how to use sparknotes, how to procrastinate, how to work both smarter and harder, how to have a panic attack, how to fill in bubbles like a pro, chemistry, how to fold a piece of paper into a heart, how to complain about things you didn’t learn in high school. You know, all the important stuff.
