In 19 years of life, I feel as though I, and the people I grew up with, have experienced more than our fair share of tragedy. Too many deaths of classmates, too many funerals, too many scarring experiences. However, I am glad for them, even though they caused so much pain and grief. I am glad for them because they have taught me some of the most valuable lessons of my life.
1. How to grow up.
I have had to grow up fast in order to cope with the tragedy in my life. When death happens in a high school setting, teens tend to go to their friends for support before their parents or other adults. The grief of my friends forced me to grow up and be the support that they needed.
2. How to care more deeply.
In the last 5 years, my hometown has experienced the deaths of more than 10 teenagers and young adults. Some were accidental, most were suicide. If I've learned one lesson, it's that you have to care about others and you have to tell them that you care. I've grown accustomed to telling the people I love that I love them as often as possible. I try to make it clear that if someone needs help, I'm always willing to help. I know that some people won't ask for help, which is why it's important to help everyone in little ways. You never know what could change someone's life.
3. That some tragedies aren't always public.
The death of a teenager is always extremely public, but there are those tragedies that stay inside a friend group, with only false information and accusations leaking out to the public. A tragedy doesn't have to be common knowledge, sometimes not everyone has to know. I've learned that this doesn't make the event any less devastating.
4. What I want to do with my life.
In my college application essay, I wrote about a terrifying incident that my friends and I had to go through our junior year of high school. While writing that essay, I realized what I wanted to do with my life. I decided that if I could help relieve the physical or mental pain of people for a career, I most certainly would. This realization is what lead me down the path that I am on now. In about 3 years, I will be a nurse, helping people where I can.
5. How to be someone's "person".
If you're not familiar with the TV show Grey's Anatomy, to be someone's "person", means that you're the one they go to with everything and they know that you still love them unconditionally. Before, I wanted nothing to do with other people's emotional baggage, I felt like I had enough of my own. Tragedy has taught me how essential it is to be there for the people in your life. Everybody needs somebody, and now, I'm more than happy to be that somebody.
I don't wish the heartbreak and grief that my friends and I have experienced on anyone. That being said, that heartbreak and grief has quite literally made me who I am today. While I wish that I never had to comfort a friend who is going through the loss of a loved one or watch my best friend completely break down, I am glad for the growth I have achieved because of it.
“There is a saying in Tibetan, 'Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.'
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster.”– Dalai Lama XIV
