Let me preface this by saying that I understand that the idea of dating a single parent is daunting. However, it is not as formidable as it seems. I understand wanting to be young and irresponsible to some degree, scientifically women mature faster than men anyway. However, I'm not exactly collecting Social Security, I'm in my mid 20s for heavens sake and still for the most part in the prime of my youth. Just because I am a mother, doesn't mean that I can't have fun. A lot of people think that becoming a parent, especially a young one, is the end of the world. Rest assured, it's not. It just means that my priorities have adapted for the well being of raising a child and that I, mostly, have my shit together.

To be redundant, I am young and by default I am going to date younger men. This does not mean I am going to expect you to be my child's father or his father figure for that matter. This also does not mean I am going to expect you to settle down with me. It is not your responsibility to do either of those things. We are young and we should be having fun. Just keep in mind that I probably have to be to bed by 9pm on most weekdays, I will however allow you to bring me tacos and or pizza. Or ice cream. I digress.

1. We’re The Sole Parent

There is no expecting you to be a father figure to our child. They don’t have a father to begin with, so there are no expectations. It seems a lot of men who date mothers automatically assume they have to take on some significant role to the child. I don’t want you ignoring my son by any means but if all you want, or are ready for is to be his buddy, by all means go ahead. He’s used to just having me, you’re just another friend in his eyes. Two of my best friends are single mothers, while one does coparent, they both have boyfriends who are in their early to mid 20s and have no children of their own. These boyfriends, rather than fear these children, embrace them. They don't act as their father, but a friend they get to do cool stuff with. Hell, they even suggest plans for all 3 of them at times. It is so nice to see a younger guys step up and be cool with them having a child, any guy should be! It’s a big deal but at the same time it’s not, at least for him it shouldn’t be. Especially when you’re dating a badass mom and she has a super cool kid.

2. We Have Responsibilities

I have the responsibility of being both Mom and Dad. You are free to live your life as you please. If you want to go to your friends house and drink beer and play dungeons and dragons for hours, do you. This doesn’t necessarily mean I’m cool with you being a man child, however I don’t care what you do on your time. I am young myself and I like to kick and binge-watch Stranger Things while simultaneously drinking Franzia from the box as much as a normal lady. Dating should be fun whether or not the person you're seeing is a parent, if they're a single one or a coparent. You have nothing to freak out about, regardless. You don’t have to worry about being responsible for my human, just be respectful of me being more of an adult than any Mary Magdalene you’re going to date. If you have some semblance of having your act together, I’m going to be cool with it.

3. Time Is Of The Essence

Of course my time with you is going to be on a limited basis. I do this parenting gig by myself. I can’t be as spontaneous as I would like to be, nor can I stop what I’m doing to cater to your whims at the drop of a hat, but I will make sure our time together is valuable. I seldom get out and I’m going to want to spend that free time with you if I’m dating you. I just ask that you don’t punish me for this or give up on me. Take heart in knowing that if I’m even faintly interested you, it means something. Of course, if the relationship comes to a point where you're comfortable with hanging around my kid that's going to making seeing each other a hell of a lot less complicated. In the meantime, let's just kick it and see where things go without adding unnecessary pressure, especially if it's early on. Slow and steady wins the race.

4. We Are Stable

I have to have a stable environment for my son, there isn’t any other option.Tying in with being responsible, I take care of all my bills by myself while maintaining a full time job and being a full time parent. There is no room to be unstable in any way. Sure, I have my issues like every other person, but you can count on me. I feel like that’s something any guy should look for when it comes to dating as opposed to someone who still lives at home with their parents and can’t hold down a job. A lot of young people coast by on their parents and are enabled to be irresponsible because they have something to fall back on. While I have tons of family support, I can’t be co-dependent, I have someone already that depends on me. That in itself should show you that you can depend on me. It is in my nature as a mother to want to cater to your needs and take care of you in any way I can while not acting like your mother. I don't want that job when I have a toddler running around but I will be okay with you needing me.

5. We Know How To Love

I’m not in any big rush to find my soulmate or the person I’m going to marry, but it would be nice to more or less fall in love. While that sounds very Nicholas Sparks, it would be incredibly nice to have someone to be in love with. Of course, I’m in love with my son and he seems to like me back. I mean something a little more, a companion of sorts. I’m slightly cynical and scoff at people who are consumed with desire for each other, but underneath the cynicism I do want a relationship. Dating a single mother who spends her days devoting her time and love and energy into her child just shows that she’s so incredibly capable of doing the same for the person she’s seeing. It's just up to you to decide if I'm worth it or not because I already know that I am.