Marriage is growth inducing, incredibly. Sometimes it’s so sanctifying that all you may want to do is scream at the top of your lungs “STOP THE MADNESS”.
Please don’t get me wrong. I'm not saying marriage is awful. God made it so who am I to say it’s not worth your time; however, there are some things I did not expect when stepping into one of the biggest decisions of my life.
I have compiled a small list of things that you may find helpful for when you do decide to get married!
1. Mi moolah es tu moolah:
Your money becomes your spouses cash and vice versa. Any debt on either side will need to be taken care of. If it is not paid off this may present an issue for both sides. Try your hardest to make note of any debts before entering marriage. If they are paid off before you tie the knot there will be less stress on the two of you. Take this from personal experience.
2. You start sharing a bed.
(Thanks Captain obvious) this may sound wonderful but trust me. It’s not always a great experience. For some reason one of us wakes up to every blanket ripped off us while the other arises with a well-rested smile. You may also have to consider the other persons' schedule. Are they rising to work at 5 am and you, a light sleeper, are left with a beauty-sleep-deficit? In this realization lies one of life's most important questions: is your lover a snorer? Ah!
3. You gain extra family members...
...who may bring along some extra thought, prayer and responsibility. You may become a master at creating boundaries and ticking a few people off... p.s: it's totally okay to tick people off. Just make sure it's being done in love. Make certain you understand your boundaries and the reason you have those boundaries.
4. You are joining with someone of a different upbringing.
Yes...my husband’s family is okay with loud, very loud. Good for them but not so good for the girl who has very sensitive ears and grew up in a household where any kind of flatulation/screaming over each other at the dinner table is quite frowned upon. Again, boundaries may have to be set in light of these circumstances. Give each other grace as you both learn to navigate through the murky death pool of in-law.
5. You will need to decide who does what around the house.
During the first months of marriage I could not help but be a little distraught about the nasty bread crumbs on the counter and the fact that the floor was always dirty, no matter how many times it was cleaned! The two of us had to come to a certain consensus about who did what around the house in terms of cleaning. This applies to cooking meals as well.
Ultimately, I would suggest practicing communication while you are dating. Communication is one of the biggest success factors in a new marriage. It is SO important to let one another know what is going on with emotions, heart-stuff et cetera. Without it, misunderstandings and anger can fester, leaving deadly wounds.
As a woman who has experienced the ups and downs of marriage I would also suggest ruminating and talking about the things mentioned above. Try figuring out how to incorporate them into your lives. Sit down to have discussions with your better half with regards to them and save yourself from the potential heart and butt ache that may result later on.
With much love!
K.L Pezzutto
