So, you're a college graduate. Congratulations! You did it.
Welcome to the wonderful world of adulthood, where you have to do your own dishes and "sleeping in" is regarded as more of an Urban Legend than an actual practice.
College, while stressful at times, is like living in a beautiful bubble- until graduation pops that bitch like a needle, leaving you to free fall towards the ground, covered in sticky bubble juice (a.k.a. the box of wine you played "Slap the Bag" with on graduation night).
Having been a college graduate for about a year at this point, I'm here to give you a heads up about the five things that you're going to have to adjust to after graduation.
So, without further ado, put your bag of wine down (or, pick it up, I don't judge) and get ready to groan a lot.
1. Living with your parents...again.
Maybe you're one of the few college students who has the means to strike out on their own the day after accepting their diploma. If you are, this one is not for you, you lucky S.O.B.
For most of us, living with the 'rents full-time hasn't been our "normal" since high school. While we're all grateful to have a rent-free roof over our heads while we attempt to find a job and pay off Student Loans, living with parents again does take some getting used to.
Even if they swear they won't, your parents will want to know where you are, where you're going, who you're with, and when you're coming home ALL THE TIME.
And they'll try to get this info out of you with passive-aggressive texts. And if you lie about your whereabouts to spare them the knowledge that you were out enjoying a one-night stand with a cute bartender instead of having a sober sleepover with your bestie from high school, they will find out and they will lecture you.
They will scoff every time you drink (especially if you have more than one beer, drink on a weeknight, or come home from a night out slightly intoxicated), despite the fact that you are well over the age of 21 at this point.
They will "remind" you to clean your room whenever a stray sock ends up on the floor instead of in the hamper.
They will ask you to watch your language when you absentmindedly curse- forgetting that you are no longer in the land of 18-22-year-olds.
After all, they still see you as the five-year-old with missing front teeth who called them crying one time because you got on the wrong bus after school so be respectful, keep looking for a job, and if you ever feel yourself getting irritated, remind yourself that they just love you and this isn't forever.
2. No dining hall.
Gone are the days of swinging by the dining hall for a four-course meal, dumping your dishes on the conveyer belt, and heading back home, full and unburdened.
Get ready to cook and clean. Yes, if you don't know how to cook, you'd better start real fast.
In the real world, it's not socially acceptable to let your dishes pile up either, even if you're busier and far more exhausted than you ever were in college.
3. Loneliness.
Unless you kept in touch with your high school friends or moved to the same area as your college buddies, you're going to find yourself alone on many a Saturday night, unsure of whether or not to attempt to reach out to the members of your old lunch table or attempt to start a new crew from scratch. Post-graduation feels a lot like initially going to college, as far as feeling like you don't know anyone, but rather than being thrust into an environment where everyone is looking for friends, you're sitting alone, in your pajamas, on your parents' couch, thus making it hard to find new friends.
4. Endless questions.
"Are you seeing anyone?"
"Are you going to get married soon?"
"Are you planning on having kids in the near future?"
"What are you doing right now career-wise?"
If you thought they were bad while you were in college, then I'm here to tell you that they only get worse after graduation.
No one in your hometown has seen you for so long. You'll go into Walmart for tampons and wind up re-capping the last four years for your math teacher from sophomore year.
It's nice that people are interested in your life, but immediately after graduation when you're unemployed, living at your parents' house, and possibly even single to boot, these questions can make you feel like a failure.
5. Bragging Facebook statuses.
You're probably already seeing these gems.
Usually (poorly) disguised as a sappy "thank you" to friends and family for their "continued support", these statuses from college classmates and old high school acquaintances alike, drone on about how they got offered their dream job before graduation has even occurred, and will be moving to New York City to start their lives, right after their lavish grad trip to Europe, of course.
(The above is my contribution to the sacred tradition.)
If these statuses are annoying to you now then maybe just follow the trend of deleting Facebook, because in the months after graduation, it will get way worse and if you're not having any luck finding your dream job or your soulmate, your Facebook newsfeed will leave you contemplating whether or not you've always been a loser or if this is a new development.
While it's not all day drinking (strongly frowned upon in the adult world) and Rae Sremmurd anymore, there are a few silver linings. You now have your degree, which you've worked hard for and your whole future is ahead of you. Keep your nose to the grindstone and think of this time as the start of any great adventure- full of obstacles, but with a treasure waiting at the very end.
You'll get to where you're supposed to be, eventually.
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." -John Lennon
