It’s hard getting online and seeing comments about how poorly customers treated a server; or how awesome someone tipped a server during a shift; or something funny a table did, but it upset the server; or something happened completely justified by server standards, but it upset the table. Most people don’t realize the things servers go through every time he/she gets a table. Serving gets pretty stressful, and it just takes one table to make or break a night.
1. Neediness.
Unless you're my very first table, you're not the only table I take care of. Sometimes, other people need assistance before you, so yes, it will take me some time before I get your entire order out to you. Servers keep track of every single tables' drinks, orders, cooking preferences, and side items, so if I forget something, please do not get mad or angry. Just kindly remind me what I forgot. It also makes me feel better when you notice the restaurant is busy and you tell me, "Take your time. There's no rush."
If I go back to the kitchen when I'm done, it doesn't mean I'm done with your table. When I go back in the kitchen, other things need taking care of like running another servers' foods out to their tables, making sure the cooks have dishes stocked, checking on my own tables' foods, making sure everything's cooked properly, checking things aren't taking longer than they should, etc. Much responsibility comes with being a server, so it helps tremendously when tables understands I'm busy and/or when I disappear for a few minutes.
2. Rudeness.
Water is not a feeling. I ask how you're doing as soon as you sit down at the table, and I do genuinely care how you feel. I then know how I should approach your table, and what I need to do to give you the best experience possible. It upsets me when I ask your table, "So how are we all doing today?" and the first response is, "Water" or "Diet Coke, please." Neither one of those things are a proper response, but I can't tell you so because I get in trouble. I just get your drinks and then grudgingly keep from adding formaldehyde.
As well, I understand things aren't always cooked perfectly the first time. We all have our foods come out wrong from time to time. After all, we are humans who make mistakes. However, servers do not cook the food, so snapping at me does no good when your steak is medium-well and you asked for well done, but I will take care of the problem immediately. Please don't ruin my shift by yelling at me in front of my other tables for something beyond my control.
3. Getting Stiffed.
Not tipping isn't funny or cute. It's rude.Tips should reflect your service and overall experience, both completely controlled by servers, and I get that. I always try my best to go above and beyond for every table, no matter the circumstances. Nothing is more heartbreaking than when a server has a table ring up a huge tab, and they're nice with him/her the entire time, and then he/she sees the table didn't even tip 10 percent. Those times make me feel like I wasted my time and one of my tables for nothing, and then I can't show how I feel front of other guests because it seems like I'm having a pity party.
Just understand I make my living off my tips, so when you give me 80 cents on a $45 tab, it's upsetting. 80 cents can't fill my gas tank or pay my bills.
If you aren't able to tip, please let your server know. It's embarrassing, but your server appreciates your honestly and the spared feelings. It shouldn't affect the service to you in the least. In fact, your server should serve you better because it shows he/she actually cares, and he/she is not just in it for the money.
On a Thursday night I won't forget, I had one table left before the end of my shift. It was a family of five, two parents and three kids all under the age of eight. I could tell they had a rough day, but they looked pleased being out as a family. I went over to the table, I introduced myself, and then I asked what I could get them to drink. They all ordered water, which was fine, and I thought nothing of it.
While ringing in their order, the father came up to me and quietly told me, "Sarah, you've been an amazing waitress. You're kind and funny, and you've given us the best experience we've ever had here, but we aren't in a position to tip that well. I was recently laid off my job, and I haven't been able to find a job yet. I just wanted to take my family out for a nice meal to show them how much they mean to me, and I wanted to let you know in advance, so it won't ruin your night." I told him it wasn't a big deal, and I appreciated him coming to me and telling me.
That was and is my favorite table I ever waited on.
4. Sarcasm.
It goes hand-in-hand with rudeness... but with serving, sarcasm is different. On one hand, if a table is over-sarcastic, it really kills my mood. (My favorite response is when I ask if the table is ready for me to drop off their check, and someone says, "No, thanks. You can keep it.") On the other hand, I appreciate sarcasm with a table because I know it's okay to joke around. However, most of the time, sarcasm is just plain annoying.
5. Children.
Children make my job the most difficult. I am not a baby-sitter. I get paid $2.13 an hour. I don't have time to keep your kids in line, on top of serving and cleaning your table and all my other tables. I go out of my way giving your children refills every 10-15 minutes, which is a huge deal because I'm neglecting my other tables, and it's annoying constantly sweeping under a table or wiping the windows.
One night at work, a family sat down, and they had well-behaved but extremely messy children. I thought, "Great... There's an extra five minutes of cleaning right there...", but to my surprise, the mother made her kids sweep underneath the table and make sure all the food scraps and paper was thrown away or put on a plate. I was so overjoyed! The mom came up to me and said, "Our kids aren't your responsibility. I waited tables for 15 years, so I know what it's like." I gave the woman a hug and thanked her. It was awesome!
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In my opinion, only servers understand what it's like being a server, and I believe everyone should wait tables at some point in his/her life, just to see what it's like. It's not just sitting around and bringing drinks when I feel like it or bringing your food out when it's been ready for 20 minutes. A lot of hard work and patience goes into it.
Servers constantly do things or they fall behind, especially during a rush. Being a server gives me a whole new perspective on people. I must please complete strangers and make sure they are happy without being rude or short or prissy. It's hard at times, but it's the great tables making the job worthwhile.
