Pregnancy is a wonderful, magical gift but let me be real honest, in the first trimester, some things will occur that will either make or break your mental state. All of these things will probably make you laugh til you cry or just cry, but regardless of the outcome so far it has all been pretty comical for me.
1. Pregnancy Brain at its Finest.
There will come a time in that first thirteen weeks when you will absolutely lose all common sense, it will simply vanish into thin air. For me, my first moment occurred when I was panicking over not being able to push down the brake to get my car into gear. The panic was in full swing as I was trying to come up with how I was going to tell my husband that our car was broke. Right before the dreadful walk into my husband, I looked down to see that I have never turned the car on.
2. You have the Nose of a Hound Dog.
Growing up I would always hear people talk about the mystical magic of "pregnancy nose" and how pregnant woman could smell all things from any distance. I really never put much thought into it until the day of the metal zipper. I was casually sitting in class minding my own business when all of a sudden BAM! my nostrils were invaded by the mind-numbing stench of metal, my eyes watered, and my nose hairs curled. It was in that moment, right in the middle of class that I knew all of the stories I had ever heard had to be true.
3. The Infamous Joint Replacement.
Call me crazy but the first time you feel the joint pain that is associated with pregnancy, you too will feel like your joints have been replaced with the joints of a 90-year-old woman with Rheumatoid Arthritis and you will have to fully restrain yourself from marching down to the local nursing home with every intention of taking back what is rightfully yours. Unfortunately, Ella Smith in room 3B does not have your joints and you will be stuck with this achy breaky body for the next several months. You can thank the hormone Relaxin for this fun new experience.
4. You Begin to Understand Bears' Practice of Hibernation.
It does not matter if you have been awake for 5 minutes or 5 hours, the desire to find a dark place to sleep in is the exact same. It doesn't matter what kind of fun you are having or how long you have waited to watch the movie that you are at the theater to see, the desire to get in a solid week worth of sleep will trump everything else, every single time. Personally, being a college student I prefer to find the most comfortable position in my desk and try to make my nap look as inconspicuous as humanly possible.
5. Clothing is Not Your Friend. Clothing Cannot Be Trusted.
Being the advocate for comfort that I am, I am a firm believer in leggings and big t-shirts for life. It only made sense that my trusted leggings and t-shirts would proudly stick by me for a majority of this pregnancy, man was I wrong! I'm only 7 and a half weeks deep into this thing and my leggings have already forsaken me! The craziest part is that it's not even that I'm so big because I'm not... It is the fact that it's highly uncomfortable for anything to even touch my stomach. I've been highly let down by my comfy clothes and it makes me very sad.
In short, pregnancy in the first trimester is the equivalent of being a senseless, sleepy, 90 year old hound dog that has been abandoned by its comfy clothes.
