I have recently found myself in one of those friendships where I absolutely love someone but they constantly make me feel like crap. You know the ones, where it’s like you’re not smart enough or nothing you say is funny. Or that you shouldn't have anything to contribute? As much as you love them, when those snide comments slip out you’re tempted to punch them in the face. I hear these comments and question how I can be friends with someone who doesn't respect me. I tell myself “next time, I’m gonna say something” but I never do. I laugh it off and think about how rude it was later and do nothing and the cycle continues. These “friends” aren't my friends and what they're saying is hurtful. Here are 5 things that happen when you let someone walk all over you.
1. You start to question yourself.
Allowing someone else’s words to affect the way you think about yourself is the worst. You start to question if the way they see you is who you really are. It’s not. You know yourself better than anyone and should not let anyone else define who you are.
2. You stop trying.
You feel like you can’t do things because someone else says you can’t. So you don't try. Because you don't want to confirm what they're saying true. Never stop living your life to please someone else. You have a whole world waiting for you, and you cannot hinder yourself out of fear of someone else not liking it.
3. You censor yourself.
You don't feel good about the qualities you used to love about yourself. Being funny turns into playing too much. Being smart turns into being a know it all. In essence, you stop being yourself. But those qualities are the parts of you that make you unique. You shouldn’t stop making jokes or being smart just because someone else is uncomfortable. Be your 100 percent true self. If they can’t handle it then tough luck.
4. You’re angry at yourself for allowing such negative energy into your space.
You know that moment a few hours later when you sit down and cannot believe you allowed someone to talk to you that way? You're better than that and better than that treatment.
5. You get whiny.
I'm sure you've vented to all of your other friends about the situation and you get repetitive about the same thing happening over and over. You look to your friends for advice and all they can say is the same thing: “leave” or “stop talking to them.” You don't and the cycle continues and no one wants to hear about a situation you keep allowing to happen.
At the end of the day, if you have someone in your life that makes you feel any of these things, you need to reevaluate that relationship. You’re not being dramatic or sensitive. You’re being honest, and demanding respect. There’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t need anyone in your life who doesn’t see how fabulous you really are.
