When I got to my Philosophy 104 class on Thursday I realized I had not completed the assignment that was due before class time. I sat there and did it anyway, and all I could think was, “Hm, maybe if I didn’t spend my time watching ‘How to Open a Bottle With a Cucumber’ online I could have completed this assignment on time.” Then I forgot about my math homework due the next day.. and THEN I remembered my upcoming psychology exam which i am not at all prepared for! Does my academic life suck right now? It sure does! What things are in better shape than my grades? SO many things:
1. Ross and Rachel’s relationship after they were on a break
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Ross screaming “WE WERE ON A BREAK” is the equivalent to me screaming “YOU HAVE TO RAISE MY GRADE” at my professors. I applaud Rachel for writing 18 pages of that letter because most of the time I struggle to write 18 words for an essay, so she was in much better shape than I am. Ross and Rachel yelling at each other is basically what goes on in my head during class.
2. Donald Trump’s campaign
You know you’ve hit rock bottom when Donald Trump has a better chance at becoming the President than you have at passing all your classes (and lets face it, this guy should really have no chance at winning). Maybe if I were to build a wall around myself I could keep out all of my quizzes and exams. It’s also sad when you realize how similar Trump’s speeches are to your essays when you don’t know what you’re talking about but you have to reach a word count. (Friendly reminder NOT to vote for Trump on Tuesday, unless you want me to fail all my classes!)
3. Vine
Vine was doing so well for so long. It was at the top of the world, spreading joy and humor to all, and now it is shutting down; kind of like my brain. Vine seems to be more popular than ever now that it is shutting down, so it is still prevailing in its last moments. I have not even reached my last moments yet and I am pretty ready to just give up. RIP Vine.
4. All of the teenagers in Friday the 13th
Getting chased and killed by Jason Voorhees seems so appealing whenever I think about my grades. I can’t run away from my homework and exams but those teenagers can run away from Jason. At least they have a chance, you know? AND they get to party and have a fun weekend before they get killed. Before I die I’ll probably be in the middle of a final exam, and they’ll probably still fail me.
5. This woman who discovered her husband was her dad
I mean, just look at her. She still has a smile on her face. She doesn’t even care. She’s fine.
