Long distance relationships tend to have a very bad stigma attached to them. I completely understand because, before I was in one, I thought the same thing. “I will never do long distance” or “a long distance relationship is too hard.” I had those thoughts quite often. When I started dating a man who I knew was going to be stationed at a new base within the next few months, I was terrified. I was so scared that I would not be able to do it, or he wouldn’t be able to. “How do we go from seeing each other almost every day, to once every 1-2 months?” To be honest, I really thought that we wouldn’t last too long. I thought we were going to enjoy each other while he was here, then we would say goodbye. When that time came, it wasn’t that easy. After many long conversations, we decided we were going to try long distance. We both knew it would be hard, but we also thought it would be worth it. Now, about 7 months into being long distance, I do not regret anything about staying together. By no means am I saying long distance relationships are easy, but I am saying that if you are with the right person, they are so worth it. Having this long distance has helped us grow as a couple, as well as help me grow as an individual.
What being in a long distance relationship has taught me:
1. I am worth more than needing constant reassurance.
My biggest fear going into the distance was I would not feel loved since we were not together everyday. At first it was hard. Not being able to see him after a tough day, and not getting that kiss before going to sleep. In the beginning, there were so many times I questioned him. I would rely on silly little things like the way he texted or when he called as ways to know he still loved me. It took my boyfriend finally telling me that he was still madly in love with me, but my constant questioning of his feeling would eventually push him away, to get me to stop. Him telling me that was exactly what I needed to hear. I realized that I did not need the hands on reassurance constantly to know that he still loves me. This has helped me gain another level of respect for myself, and he is to thank for that.
2. Communication is key.
I was a terrible communicator, especially when it came to my feelings. I just held everything in, until one day I just exploded. I always knew that his was not the right way to go about things, but I did not know any different. Being in a long distance relationship has taught me how to use effective communication. Since communication is all we really have, we need to know how to use it. I have gotten so much better about actually talking about things, and so has he.
3. How to work hard, and how to save.
Being long distance is expensive. I did not realize how much of a toll on my bank account it would take until a couple of trips in. I drove the first few times, but a 10 hour drive by yourself really is no fun. So I eventually started flying. Knowing that the only way I could see my boyfriend that one time a month was if I had enough money helped me both work harder and save money. Like most people, I used to spend so much money on pointless things I didn’t need. Once I started making that trip once a month, I learned how to save money very quickly. I gave up those unnecessary shopping trips, or eating out all the time. Little things like that can go a long way. I also got another job, which was more work. Keeping up with two jobs and being a full time student was tough, but it has taught me what hard work and a little discipline can do.
4. How to appreciate time I have with loved ones.
Not that I did not appreciate my time with loved ones before, but I certainly didn’t like I do now. I now appreciate every single second, because I know how hard it is to go without it now. Once I started seeing my boyfriend only one time a month, I learned how to make the most out of it and appreciate all of it.
5. What true love is.
“Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle…rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be.”
Love has no limit. Even with such great amount of distance between us, I still continue to fall more and more for my boyfriend everyday. Even with such a great amount of distance between us, my boyfriend still makes me the happiest girl in the world. When you have a real and true love, the distance does not matter. It sucks having to be away from them, but it does not changed anything.
I would not change a single thing about my relationship. Sometime I do wish he would never moved and we would still be together, but then I think about it and realize that we are as strong and as in love as we are because of the distance. I cannot wait until the day we are no longer long distance, but until that day comes, I will continue to fall more in love with my man, no matter how many miles are between us.
