I am so happy to see the progress that has been made in the last century in regard to people with special needs. Not only has their management and treatment improved, but they have been more involved with the community rather than in secluded institutions. Society has started to accept and encourage active participation among individuals with special needs. The more involved in society that individuals with special needs are, the more people can interact and learn from these individuals.
In order to interact and create a positive, loving relationship with an individual with special needs, you need to understand that they are people just like you, as you are no different from them. There are many misconceptions about individuals with special needs that you should make a goal to overcome. I know for many people, the word special needs or disability makes them uncomfortable as they do not know what to say or how an individual with a disability will react. But when the word comes up around me, I spend hours talking about the amazing things I have learned throughout my experiences at Camp MARC and different organizations in Louisville, Kentucky. Once I stepped out of my comfort zone and saw the individual past their disability, I learned these five things:
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1. Patience
I was rarely a patient person growing up as I never understood the importance of it. I got irritated easily as I sat in traffic on the expressway. It bothered me when I was waiting in line for longer than three minutes. These individuals have taught me patience because there are going to be things in life that will take time. I have learned that sometimes it takes someone an extra fifteen minutes to walk from a cabin to the activities building. I have learned that it takes months for someone to learn how to write their name, or even a letter. I have learned that some people have to cut their pieces up during meals and take extra time eating in order not to choke or because of how they move. The smiles on their faces when they achieved something on their own made me smile big. There was no way I was going to rush them or do something for them; they worked so hard to achieve those accomplishments that bring them so much joy.
2. Accepting Others
Growing up, children struggle with bullying others based on their differences. They grow up around others doing it and follow that example. At a young age, I learned not to judge others from a father figure who brought me around individuals with Down Syndrome. Those individuals were the ones who were judged by others the most, yet they accepted all those they came across. They do not compare you to those they surround themselves with or to the person next to you. They accept you for exactly who you are- no matter what you look like or the abilities you have. I learned that accepting someone was more about respecting someone on who they are and what they do rather than agreeing or approving who they are or what they do. We don’t have the right to judge others based on what society says the “norm is”. Accepting others allows you to not only experience more and grow as a person, but it allows for more positivity in your life.
3. It’s The Little Things That Matter Most
I constantly took things for granted as I assumed nothing would ever change my abilities in life. I would wake up with a healthy body, being able to walk out of bed on my own to start my day. I know it does not sound like anything extraordinary but imagine waking up and not being able to get out of bed on your own. Imagine someone not only picking you up out of bed and putting you in a wheelchair to take a shower, but having someone have to wash you. Imagine waking up one day and having something out of your control happen and you are no longer a basketball star. Instead, you are left in the hospital with a disability and not being able to see. Or imagine not being able to express your feelings to others; for example, saying I love you. I know it is difficult to see yourself living a life that others don’t understand but I have witnessed children and adults live that life. It’s heartbreaking how much we take for granted that other people would love to have or do on their own.
4. True Happiness
Individuals with special needs do not pretend to be someone they are not. They embrace who they truly are and that allows them to not only be happy but to spread that happiness with others. Their smiles and laughs are so genuine and contagious. They find happiness by not only loving who they are but through simply being alive and in their family and friends. They do not let their disabilities affect their happiness; in fact, they look at what they do have and appreciate it. They do not let the opinions of others affect their happiness. They do not rely on others to be happy. Their state of mind allowed me to find true happiness in my life. I stopped looking at what I didn’t have and started being grateful for not only where I was but for the family and friends I surrounded myself with. I stopped trying to find happiness in others or in something that would “improve” my life, like a job. Life is so much better when you can learn to be happy and to spread that energy with others.
5. Love Others Unconditionally
The love you receive from individuals with special needs is the most sincere love you will experience. It is so true and refreshing that it changes how you love others. Those with special needs do not need something from you to love you. They choose to. They do not focus on how you see them. They do not care about your decisions or mistakes. At the end of the day, they are going to say they love you, whether it’s expressed by their words or actions. It allowed me to feel what true love was and it made me feel adequate so I started loving others unconditionally. No matter what others in my life may say or do, I will always choose to be there for them and love them.
People with special needs have not only taught me so much in the past ten years, but they have changed me for the better. I would have never thought that I needed these experiences to learn lessons that would allow me to live a better life. I am thankful that I was led to work with individuals with special needs, as we are constantly sharing stories, smiles and hugs.
With that being said, I advise you to spend a day with an individual with special needs. Find somewhere to volunteer in your community or tag along the next time your friend works with someone with a disability. Do something that will help you accept and learn from these special children and adults. Allow yourself to be changed and to become a better person because of these beautiful people.
