If you told me back when I was in middle school that I would have one serious boyfriend for my entire life, I would have laughed at you. Now, here I am five years later with the same amazing man.
We just celebrated our five-year anniversary last week and it made me think, what would I tell someone who is just getting into a serious relationship? Here's what I've learned from being in a long-term relationship.
1. Don't expect a fairy tale.
We all grew up watching Disney movies. As a little girl, I expected an amazing guy to swoop in, rescue me from all the other jerks and live happily ever after with me in a large castle. Okay, maybe not that last part, but I really did expect a fairy tale because I watched it happen in every movie. There will be fights. There will be good days and bad days. True love is not measured by how close your relationship matches up to a Disney movie. True love is measured by your willingness to put your partner's needs first.
2. Prepare to gain weight.
I'm not kidding. Happiness truly does make you gain weight. When you begin to settle down, you start to become comfortable with the other person. Watching your weight goes on the back burner when you're getting your college education, working a part-time or full-time job and taking care of a family. The best part is that you love each other so much that you don't care. You might not even notice until you look at old pictures.
3. "I'm a girl. I don't burp, fart or poop." Yeah, that way of thinking—throw it out the window.
You can pretend you aren't a human being for a while, but if you plan on spending a lifetime with this person, you have to get over the embarrassment of natural, bodily functions. Someday, you're going to share a living space and you're going to have to poop. You're going to have to fart. I'm not saying you should be gross about it, but you need to find someone you are comfortable being around.
4. Be loving, be patient, be selfless.
If there is one phrase that should be on repeat every time you and your significant other get into a fight, it is, "Be loving, be patient, be selfless." It is so easy to get caught up in being right and winning the fight. However, having a healthy relationship is so much more than being right. Try to look at the argument from your partner's point of view. Attempt to understand what your partner is trying to say before talking over him or her to explain your point of view. Remember to be patient, because sometimes people say things they don't mean when they are upset. But mostly, be loving. Love your partner through every misunderstanding.
5. The best advice I can give you: Communicate.
No amount of words on a page can properly communicate how important communication is when you're in a long-term relationship. Don't assume your partner will understand how you're feeling just because you've been together for a couple of years. It is so important to express how you're feeling and truly listen to your partner when he or she is communicating feelings.
