I do not know what a latte is. I do not know the difference between a cappuccino and an espresso. I do know what Starbucks is, and I do know that you should probably never take me there, because it is an overwhelming experience for a non-coffee drinker like myself. It is a different lifestyle, choosing not to be coffee-obsessed, in a world where coffee is quite popular.

1. I'm very coffee-illiterate.

Like I said, I have no idea what types of coffees there are to order. Black coffee and iced coffee are the extent of my knowledge. When you start throwing in different types of milk (non-fat, condensed?) with different types of flavors (vanilla, pumpkin — one pump or two?) and different cup sizes (which is bigger, tall or grande?), I absolutely lose my mind. At this point, when coffee takes on new names like latte and espresso, it doesn't sound like we're speaking English anymore.

2. I cannot take a side in the everlasting Starbucks vs. Dunkin Donuts debate.

Peoplewho debate whether Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts is better usually argue about which place has the better coffee. Starbucks has endless options, is always changing their menus and introducing new items, and has a lot of secret items you can order. Dunkin Donuts has just your regular types of cups of Joe, but is definitely way less expensive than Starbucks. Therefore, people always choose a side, but being a non-coffee drinker, I cannot participate in this argument. However, I think I would have to side with Dunkin Donuts because, hey, THEY HAVE DONUTS.

3. I'm saving a lot of money, though.

Coffee is expensive. Even if you choose to buy cheaper types of coffee, it still adds up over time. One cup of coffee can be up to $10 nowadays! Coffee makers, Keurigs, and the many coffee mugs you buy add up to a lot of money quickly. And then you've got to buy filters, Keurig Cups, new coffee pots when the old ones break, new mugs when you see a new pretty one...it's too much. Instead I am using my money in much smarter ways, like buying cute new shoes, of course.

4. I am not addicted to coffee, and can function without it.

Too many people are addicted to coffee, whether they realize it or not. Everyone is always lugging around some type of coffee with them throughout the day. I dare them to go one day without it. If you cannot function a day without coffee, then congratulations, you are addicted! Coffee in the morning to wake up, coffee in the afternoon for a pick-me-up. Coffee all the time! I can function without coffee. My first thought in the morning is not how much coffee I think I'll need to make it through the day.

5. But I am definitely not a morning person.

Maybe if I drank coffee, I would be like that one hyper, bubbly morning person you know that does drink coffee. Maybe my first thought in the morning wouldn't be how much I wish I was still asleep. Maybe I could be productive before noon. Who knows? Some people are not a morning person when they haven't had their coffee, but I'm just naturally not a morning person!