In the midst of this exciting Halloween weekend, I was blessed to ring in my second decade of life. Birthdays are a natural time of reflection, and this one was especially monumental one for me – I’m no longer a teenager! Funny, it seems as each birthday passes, the pace of each year seems to pick up, as well. I’m not complaining, my 20 years thus far have been filled to the brim with adventures, emotions, memories, knowledge, and so much rich life. I’ve decided for this birthday, I’m giving myself a series of gifts. I’m planting these proclamations as seeds in my life. I will write them in this article but implement them in my life. I will water them and give them the sunlight and attention they need to thrive. Before I know it, I’ll have my very own garden to enjoy!

I’m gifting myself:

1. A real live budget.

Wow, this one seems like such a mom thing. As someone who has already held five paid positons in my life, I’m embarrassed that I have not yet created a budget for my expenses and income. I’ve begun working part time again and this time around, I am not going to wonder where on earth my checks disappear to. I will plant this seed so that I can reap the benefits of being financially literate in the future.

2. A daily schedule.

Time is so valuable. Since I’ve moved away from home and become a full-time college student and part-time employee, I have found that unscheduled time leads to a lot of unproductive scenarios. For some people, prioritizing is easy and comes naturally. For me, if I don’t turn off my phone and make myself go to the library to start my research paper, I will stay in bed and watch Netflix. Plain and simple. Yes, I am a very motivated and ambitious young lady – I live by the mantra that I am obsessed with my future. However, sometime laziness gets the best of me. I have a lot of awesome activities, people, and experiences around me that I want time to enjoy guilt free. This seed will require me to budget my time so that I can reap the benefits of a balanced life in the future.

3. The ability to accept compliments and love myself.

What kind of gift is this? Hear me out — I love making people feel good about themselves. There is so much joy in knowing my simple comment can make someone’s entire day. However, I cannot accept such love. I have a remarkable inability to appreciate compliments on my looks, works, or talents. I have been so conditioned by societal standards to not feel prideful about said looks, works, or talents. This birthday, I’m deciding to put an end to that. I am not going to tell someone how cheap I got my sweater for when they complement it, I’m not going to complain about my split ends when someone tells me my hair looks good, and for once in my life – when my mom tells me how stunning I am in that dress, I’m not going to argue! This seed will blossom further into an attitude of self-awareness and love in the future.

4. The best state of spiritual, mental, and physical fitness.

In order to be the best version of myself, I need to be spiritually, mentally, and physically healthy. I am going to stop making excuses as to why I can’t get to the gym because in reality, working out makes me feel amazing. I’m going to nourish my body with nutrition and not temptations. I’m going to stop prioritizing the opinions of other people over my own. I recognize the fact that if people are in my life at this point it is for a reason, and those who have chosen to leave it are not worth chasing. I am tired of feeling emotionally bullied by people I thought were my friends or members of my own family whose love I believed was unconditional. I have let it all go through practicing fierce spiritual fitness. I appreciate God’s power and vision for me more than ever before and I am eager to continue strengthening it. This seed will grow into a harmonious synchronicity of my mind, body, and spirit.

5. A break.

Anything worth having is worth working for. I am entering my second decade of life, arriving at my half point in college, and happily standing on the precipice of the rest of my life. I have learned that anything worth having is worth working for. As much as I am still a kid at heart, I am becoming an adult at heart too. I can’t run from responsibility – but whenever I feel like I need one, I am giving myself a break. And not a “take off the next five semesters of college because this midterm is going to kill me” break (although power to those who can do so!), but a mental and sometimes physical allowance of time to just exist and thrive as a human being. I am going to hold myself to a high standard but I am not going to self-destruct due to the stress of it all. I will stop winding myself up into an anxious ball, I will start laughing at myself more, and I will open up my mind to new things. This seed will grow into an everlasting ability to enjoy the small things in life and remember that the journey is just as great as the view from the top of the mountain.

To Heather, with love!