Here is the advice I wish somebody would have given my younger self.
1. Put yourself first.
I mean this so incredibly literally. You should ALWAYS be first on your list and know that this is not selfish, but necessary for your wellbeing and happiness. It happens way too often that in efforts to please everybody and keep everybody happy we put ourselves second, third, or even forth. YOU CANNOT KEEP EVERYBODY HAPPY! You cannot please everybody all the time, it's impossible, so get that idea out of your head. Please do not let anybody's pressures or anxieties become your own, do not own them as your own by trying to help them through these.
The burdens of others are not yours to bear. I know we all have pressures, we all have people we feel like we need to make and keep happy, but we come first. Our mental health comes first because without it we are nothing. Without it, we cannot function, and all the work you put into keeping and making people happy will be for nothing. Remember that you cannot save others if you cannot save yourself, so put yourself FIRST, and then others.
2. Stop saying "yes" to stuff you hate.
I know It's easier said than done, trust me, I struggle with it every day. I hate confrontation too, but if you keep saying "yes" when in reality you want to say "no" you only add to your list of regrets and uncomfortable situations. So stop saying yes if your heart and mind say no! Know that there are only so many bad experiences that we can brush off as "learning experiences" before we become mentally weak , and vulnerable to depression. Bad moments weaken our mind and souls, leaving cracks that allow for hate to creep in. There is only so much bad we can take, so much blaming ourselves we can do, before we start to hate ourselves all together. Remember that we are our best friend, our true lifetime companion, so start learning to say no, take pride and find strength in knowing that you were brave enough to choose yourself.
3. Don't judge yourself by your past.
If you judge yourself by your past, you are teaching others to do so as well. You do not live there anymore. You have grown, you have changed. By all means learn from your past. When making decisions, it is good to look back on similar situations where your actions might have not be the best, but do not let the mistakes of your past define you. You are not your mistakes. Yes, learn from these and become a better, improved person because of them, but you cannot successfully move forward, while constantly looking back behind your shoulder, or with a weight on them. You will trip on what's in front of you, and the weight will only slow you down. You're going forward now, not backwards ever again, so act like it and let it go, leave the past where it belongs, in the past, behind you. Your future is bright!
4. "The beauty of you is in how you wear who you are" -Timothy Egart
How you see yourself is how you teach others to see you, How you treat yourself is how you teach others to treat you. Love yourself, treat yourself right, keep yourself healthy. Know that the time spent on yourself, and with yourself is NEVER time wasted. If you believe in "you", have confidence in "you", and are truly comfortable with yourself, you will find that you will no longer need approval or validation from anybody else, and you will be free! So never stop working on your relationship with yourself, because that is one of the keys to happiness, and peace.
5. Stop letting your head get in the way.
The brain is a strong powerful organ, but that is all it is, an organ, it is not reality. It can sure manipulate life in incredible ways, but it is not reality. Stop letting it get in the way of your success and happiness. You are never "too old" for nearly anything. It is never "too late" to start fresh, start over, with a clean slate. The pressure is in your head. The anxiety, the fear that stops you is in your head. Never settle and never give up on something you really want or love due to lack of confidence, or because you think it's "too late". Stop letting your talent go to waste, or putting obstacles in your own way! It is difficult to wait and be patient with things, but it is more difficult to regret.
We all make mistakes, we are all human and sometimes we even make the same or similar mistakes. A lot of it has to do with our mindset and how we approach things. I wish that somebody had given me similar advice when I was younger. It would have saved my younger self a lot of pain. So with this article I hope I am able to have this impact and do exactly that for others. Create a mindset in them, plant a seed that can teach them to approach life in a positive, self-loving way that helps them to become happier humans.
