When I was twelve my dad died suddenly, we were blind sighted and I was devastated. He was my number one guy and then one day he's just gone. It's a kind of pain I wouldn't wish on anyone and it's even worse when I see close friends take their parents for granted. I've met a few people who have lost their dad and it seems like everyone has their own things that they experience and feel but we all still have similarities. I've found that it's nice to know you aren't the only one experiencing this type of thing, so here's a couple of things I've related to other people about when it comes to losing our dads.
1. It never feels real even five years after, you just can't comprehend that you'll never see your dad again.
You won't walk into the house and see him reading the newspaper with one leg crossed on the other. He won't be there at the dinner table. Taco Tuesday's aren't the same without his famous taco recipe. It feels unreal some days. Hard to believe you won't see your pal again.
2. Our memories are priceless.
It might just be an inside joke but to you it still means everything. That's your piece of him. Cherish it. Don't feel like you have to explain why you're laughing or tearing up when you tell stories about your dad, it's like you are right back in that moment as you talk about that memory.
3. Arguments with mom suck.
You fight with your mom then wish you had your dad to go to. It's a inner fight with yourself because you feel like you're being ripped apart inside but you're fine, you just miss him.
4. Big life moments aren't the same.
It feels like something is missing. You might not be able to pin point it but in a crowd you'll look through all the faces and he won't be there, that's when the sinking feeling hits.
5. Holiday's get worse and worse every year.
His laugh doesn't shake the walls anymore, no one brings green bean casserole because dad always made the best, his absence is apparent every holiday.
At the end of everyday I lay in bed and thank God that I am still here and that the people in my life are still here. I have a gratefulness I guess that makes me appreciate things more. I lost my first love, the first man to show me unconditional love, the one man who showed me what it is to love someone. I learned so much in our few years together and those lessons won't ever be forgotten. My dad is my guardian angel, how lucky am I to have my best friend watch over me. Not a day goes by where I don't wish things were different. If I could have my dad here still I would do anything but thats not going to happen so I'm just rolling with the punches.
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