Being a military significant other is not an easy thing. It will make you learn so many things about yourself and the people you love. There are separations, weekends together (when you're lucky), deployments and homecomings. The people around you are not just your friends, they become your family. I have learned so much in such a short amount of time about myself, him, and the life that we can have together.
1. Deployments suck
They can be really long or not so long, but every second is going to drag by if you dwell on it. They only way to really get through it is to have close relationships with your family, friends, and your significant other's family. You will get each other through it, and it will make it so much easier on you when they are home.
2. When you have time that can be shared, spend it with everyone
I got lucky with this, because my boyfriend's family is very understanding. You don't have to spend every weekend together, because you will want time just with them, and they will need family time without you there. As much as that can suck, it is how you build a strong relationship. Understanding their needs is critical when it comes to keeping everyone happy and as stress free as possible.
3. They will have to learn how to be a civilian again when they are not working
Everyone has different methods for this, but there are certain things they will struggle with. Video games seem to be how my boyfriend winds down after a long day, or when he comes back from a deployment. Even still, especially after a deployment, little things like driving can be difficult for them. Again, I can't stress enough how important understanding their needs and trying to accommodate for them is.
4. The military will release them whenever they are good and ready to
Whichever branch your significant other is in, they do not care if you have driven three hours and have been sitting in a parking lot for two hours. If they don't want to let your significant other leave, they won't let them leave. This really sucks, but it is part of the life I now live. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that, as I have been so gracefully told, a girlfriend and a family is not standard issue Marine Corps equipment.
5. Your significant other doesn't like any of this either
They would happily spend every second they can at home with you and their family, but we all know it is not possible. They have a job to do, and part of that job is to protect our country. We stand by them and we are proud of them for making that decision therefore we stay home and handle the domestic problems while we wait for their return. Always remember they are counting down the days just like we are.
It is not an easy life to live, but being with someone you love is worth it. There are many different ways to get support from other people in military relationships or families. There is nothing better than that first hug when you get to see them again, and that feeling is a reminder that it is worth it.
