I've known for awhile that I want to be an actor. As college drew closer, I couldn't see myself majoring in anything else. However, the process of gaining admittance as an acting major isn't as simple as submitting applications. Most programs accept only 25-50 students out of sometimes up to a few thousand applicants. I have recently completed my senior year of high school, and looking back I cannot believe just how crazy things have been. This year took me through 17 applications, 11 auditions, a handful of rejections, a few months of waitlist purgatory, a slight cheating of the May 1st deadline, and ultimately an acceptance to one of my top choices and the college that is without a doubt best suited to my learning style and personal beliefs. There were sleepless nights and days of crippling stress. But even if I was denied from every single college I applied to, I wouldn't change a thing about my experiences this year. There are so many ways in which auditioning for college improved me as a person. Below, I have listed just a few of them.
1. I am capable of more than I think.
This year I really pushed my boundaries. I stretched myself physically and mentally to places I never thought I could go. I completed 8-hour long auditions on 30 minutes of sleep. I drove an hour and a half to coaching sessions sometimes up to four times per week. I juggled all of my auditions and coaching sessions with full days of school, a musical theatre training conservatory, my school's musical, voice lessons, and writing. I did things I never imagined I could, and I can't wait to see how much further the future will take me.
2. I can’t compare myself to others.
This year I watched people with far less acting training than I get into their top choice programs without any stress at all. And when May 1st came around, everyone in my grade knew where they were going except for me. With these things it was easy to get frustrated and jealous. But I fought those feelings. Other people are not me. My journey is different than theirs. Other people's success is not my failure.
3. How to handle disappointment.
Even though I was blessed enough to be ultimately accepted to my top choice, I was rejected from most of the other programs I auditioned for. College rejections really can feel like your dreams are being crushed. But the rejections that I had taught me how to pick myself back up again in times of extreme disappointment. They also taught me how to put my problems into perspective, and to remember that I am lucky just to have the opportunity to go to college. And now I know that if I am emotionally strong enough now to handle everything I just did, I'll definitely be able to handle the disappointments of being a professional actor in the future.
4. College will not make or break my happiness in life.
Though I wanted more than anything to get into one of my top choices, I eventually came to realize that it wouldn't really matter much where I ended up. If I kept a positive outlook on life, I would find joy in any place. Where I go to college may influence my future career, but that won't make or break my happiness either. Happiness doesn't lie in success or a physical location. It's something you create for yourself.
5. Dreams can and do come true.
In mid-May I was coming to terms with the fact that the college I was going to wouldn't be my first, second, third, fourth, or even fifth choice, and that I wouldn't be going to college in NYC like I had dreamed of. But then I got an email saying that my top choice had decided to take me off of their wait list and offer me admittance to the program. I started crying before I even processed just how excited I was. And when the excitement hit me, I couldn't sleep for three nights. I couldn't believe that I actually achieved something I dreamed about for years. I always thought that dreams coming true was something that couldn't happen to me, but I was wrong. I was so incredibly wrong.