High school can be a very confusing place, and by the time graduation rolls around it is a place many of us are happy to say goodbye to. Even though we grow anxious to leave there a lot of things that we are never taught or told. Things that would make a massive difference in the journeys many girls embark on. We can all agree that we were never taught about taxes or job interviews or what we should and shouldn't include on a resume, but those aren't the things that would stick with us.
So, as a girl who once experienced high school, and then promptly entered college, here are five things I wish someone would have told me before I tossed my cap in the air.
1. It's more than just parties, hooking up and drinking.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying college by making the most of everything you're presented with. But many girls aren't told about that in high school. Instead, we are warned that if we party too much or get distracted by boys we won't reach our goals. We're told that if we "blow" our college careers in the basement of a frat house we will never succeed. It's a complete double-standard. Boys are told to enjoy themselves, make the most of the experience and to "be safe." The reality is that girls can enjoy their college experience just as much as male students. College is more than partying and "making the most of the experience", but that doesn't mean that those aspects of college life should be demonized for women and glorified for men.
2. You don't have to meet your soul mate.
Granted going to college to meet your significant other is an outdated concept. But that doesn't stop people from implying that female students have the added "perk" of going to college and meeting a tall, dark, intelligent and handsome pre-law or pre-med student. If you're like me, that doesn't sound horrible, but it's also should not be the main focus of a higher education. Most parents and teachers that I know are beyond this concept, but there are still plenty of people, media outlets and superiority figures that suggest college is essentially the only place a girl can meet their significant other. Update: that saying "there's plenty of fish in the sea" is actually very honest. There are seven billion people in the world, and someone out there is meant for you--even if they aren't at your school.
3. You actually can be whatever you want.
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Hopefully, every girl has been told that, but here's the awesome part about being at college as a young adult. YOU ACTUALLY CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT. It's not your mom, dad or guidance counselor's decision anymore. Your personality test may say you should be a nurse, but if you have always wanted to be a professional author you can be. College is about enjoying every aspect of the experience. The biggest way to ruin that experience is to study something that bores, intimidates or upsets you. There are no limits to what type of future you can create for yourself, and as long as you believe in yourself then you can absolutely be whatever you want to be.
4. Stop telling us that our professors won't tolerate things.
This isn't technically something that we should be told, but it's something that we are told and shouldn't be. Comment on this article if you ever had a teacher in high school tell you that your professors in college wouldn't put up with something. Maybe it was that you being a few minutes late would constitute failing the entire course. That they would kick you out of class because you stapled your paper slightly lower in the left-hand corner than they like. Or my personal favorite, that you wouldn't be allowed to negotiate due dates. Instead, they should be focused on telling us that our professors would appreciate it if we communicated with them when we didn't understand a concept. Teachers should encourage female students to share their opinion in class because one day it might help in a debate, history or philosophy class. When we have questions before or after class we shouldn't be told, "we went over that in class." Instead, you should be given the help and assistance you need that your male classmates have most likely been receiving. If we had that we would believe there was no such thing as a dumb question, and we'd ask more questions during college and throughout life in general. There is a lot we are told won't be acceptable, but they don't seem to tell us what will be acceptable.
5. You don't have to accept double standards.
You can go out. In fact, you should be able to go out without having to worry about your safety among classmates. You can speak up, and it's actually strongly encouraged even if someone disagrees with you. Every opportunity you dream of can become a reality if you work hard. In college, or at least I've had this amazing experience, my hard work is just as important as a guy's work. My comments and questions are just as valuable as that of a male classmate. It can be intimidating to suddenly realize that your work isn't based on who your history teacher/boy's basketball coach prefers in class, but that it is actually judged on its intrinsic value and representation of work ethic. But that intimidation is completely worth it.
In closing, to every one of my male friends who is going to read this article then text me and tell me that I am over-exaggerating or simply complaining this is for you. Consider your sisters, mothers, cousins, female best friends and girlfriends. Who would they be if they'd heard these things? Who would you be if you hadn't heard these things?
